Darwin Awards: 2003 October Slush Pile

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2003 October Slush
Birthday Gift to the Genepool
Fired
Sealing the Leak
Texans With Power Tools...
Bearly a Brain
good idea when inebriated
Just like the stuntmen on TV
Revenge is a two bladed sword
Motorcyclist tries to run trac
Suspect Run Over by Police
Parachuting from a low height
Latrine Runner Ups
Hit by train - on soccer field
A Man and His Wood
You only live once
Laser Horseplay
NOTE Well
Flat wrong
Target Practice
A near win ending with a bang.
Unsolved Mystery
Man Overboard
China's Ming Dynansy Astronaut
man killed by falling cacti
A grizzly end for man who like
Personal Account
A Jump Too Far
Safe As Houses
Impostor fire-eater ends sadly
Drowning Lake Travis
Burn Boy
Almost drowned by an octopus
Statue's can't go up flag pole
Saved by his underpants
Another Look At Orson
Malibu Bred Bear Chow
Unbreathable Kitty Litter
Too late to do it right
Wedding Party Shoots Down Plan
Spider persecution
Hanging decorations
Wedding guests 'shoot down pla
Granola boy turns out crunchy
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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Personal Account

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

The Air Base in Arizona that I was stationed at in early 1970's had an individual working there that was bent on receiving your award. He worked in the tire shop and would take semi trailer tires apart by laying them on the ground and hitting the rim with a sledge hammer. He said it was too time consuming to put them in the safety rack. One of the times he tried this almost took his head off, coming close enough to his skull as to remove his hat and give him a bruise on the forehead. His name was Kutzly, but this act earned him the name of Klutsly. Not long after this incident, he went rabbit hunting in the desert with a few other airmen. He was using a double barreled 12 gauge shotgun with bird shot, not wanting to just wound those vicious jack rabbits. They found no game, so being bored, airman Kutzly decided to unload his shotgun into the base of a 12 foot saguaro cactus. He then turned away and started walking back to the pickup they had driven out in. The cactus fell on him, pinning him to the desert floor. His two buddies managed to roll the cactus off him and carry him to the truck. He had to lay face down in the bed of the truck as his buddies drove him back to the base hospital. He had several thousand puncture wounds on his body and had cactus spines coming to the surface of his back for several months. His name was then changed to Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack not only received an Article 15 court marshal for harming government property, which was himself, he was fined by the State of Arizona for destruction of a saguaro cactus, which is illegal in that state. I have not heard much about him recently but am watching your stories to see if he got his award.

Submitted on 10/20/2003

Submitted by: Tom Lahr-Moulds
Reference: None

Copyright © 2003 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Greg said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Like the cactus story better than the tire, which I can't quite picture.

Loren said:
Neutral: Personal Account

Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I assume that you meant that he was hitting the tire to break it loose from the rim? At any rate, I think this qualifies for a Personal Account.

Daniel said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Man's a fool, but...

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