Screwy Louie 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I tell the following story to this day, and still laugh upon remembering it. It does not contend for a Darwin Award or honorable mention, but it IS funny.
When I was younger and living in Brooklyn, my friends and I would sometimes get a hold of various forms of alcohol which we shouldn't have gotten, given our age at the time. We would find various "safe spots", well secluded, where we could make use of those spirits. One time, Lou got a hold of a couple bottles of red wine, and we all ducked out of view for a nip or two.
The four of us finished one bottle in under an hour, and, feeling kind of tipsy, decided to open the other. With a handheld corkscrew, Lou opened the second bottle and took a swig, passing it off to another. He held the corkscrew in his right hand, with the metal screw between his middle and ring fingers and balled his hand into a fist. Admiring the shape of the 'weapon' he remarked "Man, imagine hitting someone with this" and then promptly slammed his right hand into his left palm.
There was a nano-second of silent shock as we all, Lou included, gazed with disbelief at the sight of the metal screw protruding out from the back of his left hand. He let out a scared whimper.
We brought him to the hospital and we all got in trouble with our folks for drinking. Ever after, though, our not-too-bright friend was called Screwy Louie. Submitted on 08/27/2003
Submitted by:
Anonymous
Reference:
Personal Account
Copyright © 2003 DarwinAwards.com
|
