otorcycle Rambling 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
From an e-mail list for bikers...
Unfortunately, I know several of the
people referenced. (who are not yet
full Darwins. But give us some time-)
Not exactly a Darwin submision, but
mildly amusing.
> >How big a hurry are you in?
>
> Hurry? I need 8 gallons to make sure i don't run out
> of gas like i did in on the interstate in Iowa a
> year ago.
> Its brutal in Iowa let me tell you.
> especialy as i find it difficult remembering to
>stop for
> gas all the time. Pretty much need all my brain
> cells
> just to keep the biken the roadway,more or less.
>
> > How about a two gallon gas can on the back? Pull
> > over and dump
> > it in
>
> Dude,you don't know who you're talking to here.
> I am called willycrash for a reason. Everything
>happens to me.I am
> likely
> the only person on this list ever to have had a duo
> of
> herrons simultaneously shit through the open
> visor of his helmet and into his wide open mouth.
> Its not just a saying.Shit really does happens to
> me.I
> am not embelishing when i tell you i am bleeding on
>the key board
> even
> as we speak.
>
> I once put a gas can on the back of my bike.
> then my bike started on fire.of course it
> wasn't
> so much a case of the bike burning as my luggage and
> the gasoline...but those are mear symantics at 80
> mph...Weird thing is,I had a R5 350 yamaha that
> started on fire while i was riding a wheelie on it
> to
> impress my girlfriend.
> She was pretty in to it.
> My volkswagon beetle burned while i was driving it
> down the street after the fuel line popped off and
> sprayed gas on the manifold.now that I think of
> it,my
> Ford truck burst into flames while i was trying to
> start it,parked on the same block that the volks
> burned at ten years learlier.
>
> Remember boys and girls,that one predictor of the
> likely hood of a person becoming a burn unit
> admission
> is having had a previous burn unit admission.
>
> the fuel cell looks like it is pretty tough-dare I
> say
> it in the current climate? It's a Robust Earth
> penatrator.It could take some road rash or a good
> impact and not burst.with a little work,it can be
> solidly mounted out of the way on the luggage rack
> and
> be as safe as this sort of thing can possible be for
> a
> person like me.
>
> Much safer than filling a garbage bag up with a
> nuetral mix of oxy/acetyline like my brother tried.
>
> I told him "You have to be careful static about
> stray
> sparks.Dummy.
> You will ever catch me with my sensitive anterior
> abdomino/thoracic areas imprinted with a pattern
> suspiciously like the weave of a favorite
> oshkoshbegosh work shirt.
> Known by my parents as "The honest one",he somehow
> convinced them at the ER that it was an welding
> equipment failure of some sort.what a wimp.
> I always say a day without BATF is a day without
> sunshine.
>
> Remind me to tell you the time he tried to "hop up"
> one of those party poppers.seems the little
> streamers
> weren't coming completely unfurled. Any story with
> the
> line "and them something wet hit me in the face" is
> a
> cool one right?.
>
> Anyway,I suppose I could mount steel jerry cans to
> the crash bars...maybe add some ammo box saddle
> bags.
> The .50 cal size.
> Or a outboard motorboat tank maybe.I do like to
> fish.
> If I do that,I think i need to git me one 'o them
> cool fork mounted amurrican eagle motified leather
> crank stashes to match. Of course i won't be keeping
> methedrine in mine. just lotza chocolate covered
> esspresso beans.I swear it.
>
> before i go,i gotta say,yeah,i don't know about
>these
> here new fangled iron butt guys either-i mean i've
> heard of iron lungs before like uncle Lucifer was
> on,back in the day, but not these new iron butts.
> Whate kinda person could go on living that way? Can
> you imagine the social stigma?
> Like being like,you could see why them iron butt
> folks
> would all want to collect together,maybe rally
> around
> a bit...
> Sort oh like those old leper colonies .
> God love 'em.
> "There but for the grace of god go I" as my old mom
> used to say.of course she was talking about my
> dad...
Submitted on 08/20/2003
Submitted by:
Ain't telling
Reference:
personal acount
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