Darwin Awards: 2003 July Slush Pile

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2003 July Slush
Hunter v. Utility Pole
Not a Fatal attraction
black cats in the pants
Off we go, into the wil..aghh!
Lessons about rock salt
popping pocket
Niagara Neanderthal
1 wood to the face
Don't point fingers
Super Sailor
gunnery school lessons.
Police Jumper July 2003
Harry Potter Wannabe
Danger Will Robinson
Man steals rowboat, drowns
Gunpowder blast burns teen
Kissed to Death
Rope-a-Dope
He's a lot cooler now...
Confectionary Burn
Home Brew
Sorrceror's apprentice.
Forking a cockraoch
Pet Water Buffalo
Diver Wins
The Worst Ride
Right tool to for the job
Don't punch glass
Punching contest claims life
woman killed lying on highway
Foam-y waters
Tow cable in shorts
Fallen Power Line Leaves Man D
"Watch this!"
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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Confectionary Burn

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Whilst serving as a waiter in a local family restaurant when I was seventeen I used to revell in the tiny pleasures of punishing customers who I felt had crossed the line. This particular incident involved heating up a "Sticky Toffee Pudding with Custard" to the point where the toffee began to bubble and the custard boil - the plan to make the old git suffer for complaining about the temperature of his soup. This was my first mistake. The second was to become distracted by a conversation with a fellow waiter, and upon removing the bowl from the foggy microwave, drop it. Instinct prevailed, and both hands raced to catch it, my left actually saving the gleaming pudding and holding it in perfect position for my right to plunge inside. Agony, pure and simple agony. Cursing at the top of my voice, I rubbed the burning toffee with a dishcloth which removed the succulent desert along with a layer of skin - much to the amusement of my colleagues. I spent the next four hours sitting in casualty with my hand in a pint glass of ice and feeling, quite justifiably, stupid.

Submitted on 07/16/2003

Submitted by: James A. Rust
Reference: Personal Account - August 1997

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
For a personal account, I think it's worth while keeping for the readers to look at, and it's sufficiently different from other recent submissions that I might not have nightmares tonight ...

Bert said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Dratted system give me the story twice?

Bert said:
Neutral: Personal Account
No threat to life, more of an accident with "instant karma" (caramel?) overtones. But well written, and it didn't involve either penis flambe' or a catapult ride...

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