Darwin Awards: 2003 July Slush Pile

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2003 July Slush
Hunter v. Utility Pole
Not a Fatal attraction
black cats in the pants
Off we go, into the wil..aghh!
Lessons about rock salt
popping pocket
Niagara Neanderthal
1 wood to the face
Don't point fingers
Super Sailor
gunnery school lessons.
Police Jumper July 2003
Harry Potter Wannabe
Danger Will Robinson
Man steals rowboat, drowns
Gunpowder blast burns teen
Kissed to Death
Rope-a-Dope
He's a lot cooler now...
Confectionary Burn
Home Brew
Sorrceror's apprentice.
Forking a cockraoch
Pet Water Buffalo
Diver Wins
The Worst Ride
Right tool to for the job
Don't punch glass
Punching contest claims life
woman killed lying on highway
Foam-y waters
Tow cable in shorts
Fallen Power Line Leaves Man D
"Watch this!"
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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Not a Fatal attraction

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This could never be more than a Honorable Mention as it cannot be verified but I thought it entertaining. I have a friend who is an inventor / engineer whos current project is attempting to build a 'ribbon' hi fi speaker system. He had secured several pairs of magnets which are so powerful that when put together can only be seperated by placing the bottom one in a vice and levering the other off it with a screwdriver. He also told me that, should you get a finger between the two magnets by accident they are powerful enough to turn the finger nail black or alternatively if you get with in ten feet of a TV it will cause the screen to be magnetized beyond repair. Lindsay, for that is his name, saw that a prank involving the magnets was essential and glued them to the underside of a pine table in such a fashion that a knife and fork placed on either side of a guests plate was extremely difficult to pick up and use.

What has this to do with Darwin and gene pools? I hear you say. Well, the chap who came to dinner thought this a wonderful stunt and requested that Lindsey loan him a pair of the magnets so he could try the prank on his friend, which after warning him of the perils of trapping fingers,TVs, floppy discs and not letting the magnets lock together (apparently, he tells me, the longer you leave them together the harder to get them apart), he agreed to do. To make sure that they were indeed kept apart the guest placed one in each trouser pocket. Unfortunately (and here comes the gene pool bit) when he stood up the magnets in his pockets both migrated in the direction of each other and would have achieved unity were it not for the unfortunate chaps 'wedding tackle' which served to inhibit not only the magnets getting together but also any short to medium term sexual 'getting together' by the guest. No, I wasnt the guest and yes I have asked Lindsay to get me some.

Submitted on 07/14/2003

Submitted by: Bernie Cook
Reference: Honorable Mention

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Teela said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account


Teela said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account


Jack said:
Maybe Toss: Personal Account
Perhaps I'm just tired, but I think that this story could use a re-write.


Bert said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Kinda gives a new meaning to the term "bar magnets"...


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