Fire in the Hole 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
My uncle served as an Australian tank driver in the Vietnam War and regailed me with several amusing stories about his time in service, but 20 years later this is the one I still tell my friends.
It was often the mundane chores of war that proved most taxing on the soldiers. Australian's are known for both their inventiveness and curiosity. One of the chores that the grunts in my uncles company had to endure on a rotational basis was the sanitising of the latrines. Under no circumstance could this be discribed as a pleasant duty. Normal protocol required the unfortunate recruit chosen for the daily job to pour lime into the latrine holes. This would sanitise the latrines. One recruit thought they had a better solution. He deduced the heat generated from a phosphorous mine detonator would do the same job both faster and more efficiently. The detonators had a 5 second fuse. Set it, drop it, shut the lid and wait for the phoowh and presto. The latrines were set out in a row of ten. Meeting success with the first test he continued with his experiment. By the last he was drawn by curiosity, what did a detonator in a pile of shit 10 ft below look like when it went off? Rather than shut the lid on the loo and look away he gazed down the hole in order to view the spectical. The resulting explosion sent a pile of excritment flying in all directions. One small ballistic chunk of shit flew directly up one of his nostrils. A reflex reaction made him inhale. Screaming madly he staggered out of the latrine and commenced what my uncle desribed as "extreemly vigerous" nose blowing. Lucky not to be blind or dead from this mis-adventure the soldier was not seen for the duration of his tour of duty without a hankerchief in hand.
Lucky not to die of disease or pure embarrasment he is worthy of an honorable mention I think.
Jamie Sach
jsach@senet.com.au Submitted on 06/19/2003
Submitted by:
Jamie Sach
Reference:
jsach@senet.com.au
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