Darwin Awards: 2003 May Slush Pile

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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Out on a limb

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Nomination for an Honourable mention.

Mr D is a professional Arborist who regularly trims trees at great hight. On this Sunday he had been with friends and had a few beers to drink over the course of the afternoon.On returning home he decided that it would be a grand idea to lop a few branches from a tree in his own yard. The following scenario has been reconstructed from his accounts and our imagination of many saturday morning cartoon shows. On reaching the branch that required pruning, Mr D. proceeded to start his chainsaw and cut through the branch. Obviously the effects of alcohol (0.25g/dL- 5 times the legal driving limit) had affected his judgement. While falling 45 feet he may have reminded himself that he should have secured himself to a safety line. He may also have thought that cutting through the limb, he should have stood on the inside of the branch. Dodging the roaring chainsaw he managed to land on his feet- breaking both his heels and his thoracic spine. The air ambulance brought him into the Victorian trauma centre where we the nominators became involved. He is currently in a stable condition and going to have a spinal fusion today. His offers of free tree pruning have been regretfully declined.

This nomination is from one of his treating units at this hospital. We would prefer to remain anonymous. Please do not include my name or email on story if it is accepted

Submitted on 05/15/2003

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: 11 May 2003 - Hospital Pt

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Gregory said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Not the best story, but believable.


Teela said:
Neutral: Darwin Award


Bill said:
Maybe Toss: Other
We already have one that I think is a little better: where the arborist tied himself to the branch being cut.


Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Could be rewritten to be more humorous, as Jack suggests.


Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I didn't find this that funny, but let the readers decide.


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