Human paper towel 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
In our office kitchen, we have, among other things, a paper towel dispenser. It looks a little bit like an upside-down waste-paper basket and takes those rolls of paper towel that look like giant blue toilet rolls without the cardboard tube. It is refilled from the bottom - you press a catch, the base hinges down, you shove the roll up and close the base again. To stop the roll falling out while you close the base, the dispenser is fitted with a non-return device - a set of plastic flaps that hinge up but not down.
Bill was bored. Being a computer programmer obviously wasn't sufficient exercise for his vivid imagination. He wandered into the kitchen to make some tea. As he waited for the kettle to boil, his eye fell on the towel dispenser. The cleaners had, for some reason, failed to refill it and it was empty with its base hanging open.
Suddenly, Bill felt the urge to see what it looked like from the inside.
To his delight, his head fitted into it fairly well. There was only one small problem - he's not a particularly tall man and it was mounted quite high on the wall, forcing him to come up on his toes. Striving for a better view, he came right up onto the very tips of his shoes.It was just enough. The non-return device non-returned under his chin.
How long can you stand on tiptoes for? Not very long, according to the colleagues who, attracted by the sudden thrashing choking strangling noises coming from the kitchen, found Bill dangling by the throat from a paper towel dispenser.
Fortunately they were able to release him without permanent damage - it was quite entertaining to watch. I do, however, wonder what they'd have said at the inquest if he *had* strangled on it. And I wish I'd had a camera.
Submitted on 04/25/2003
Submitted by:
fish
Reference:
(personal account)
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