A Medical First at Oktoberfest 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
A Nominee for Honorable Mention --
(MUNICH, GERMANY): This report, authored by three doctors at a Munich clinic, appeared in the February 2003 issue of the American Journal of Gastroenterology. The man in question disqualified himself for a true Darwin Award by being smart enough to go to a hospital and to (eventually, because of the doctor's "persistent exploration") admit what he'd done. The following is quoted directly from the article in this highly-respected medical journal, with the addition of bracketed "translations" for some of the medical jargon:
"A 31-year-old man was admitted to the emergency unit in late September with severe abdominal pain and vomiting for the last 2 h.[translation: He'd been sober enough to notice it for the last two hours]... An abdominal radiograph disclosed intestinal obstruction, and a small bowel follow-through study revealed a filling defect in the right-sided jejunum [translation: His gut was backed up because something had gotten stuck in it]. Persistent exploration of the patient's history [translation: He *really* didn't want to talk about it] disclosed a visit to the Munich Oktoberfest the night before admission, during which the patient had ingested a condom filled with beer [translation: No, we don't know why, either].
"...Upper endoscopy was unsuccessful in removing the condom [translation: We couldn't budge it]. Because the condom was localized close to the abdominal wall, it was finally punctated with a long needle under CT control [translation: We stuck a really big needle into it and it burst]. Forty ml of a yellow clear liquid [translation: We can't say in print that it was beer, because we were laughing so hard we didn't think to send it to the lab] were drawn off when the condom slid forward spontaneously [translation: The man was at least attempting to control his entry into the gene pool by possessing good-quality, leakage-resistant condoms]. On the next morning, the condom was identified in the patient's stool, and the patient was discharged in good condition."
The authors note that, "To the best of our knowledge, this is the first report on intestinal obstruction caused by ingestion of a condom filled with alcoholic beverage and its successful transcutaneous treatment [translation: Hey, we've always wanted to be the first docs to do *something*!]." Submitted on 04/24/2003
Submitted by:
T.G. Shaw
Reference:
Am J Gastroenterol 2/03;98:512
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