Darwin Awards: 2003 April Slush Pile

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2003 April Slush
Short cut, cut short
Jack up
Human paper towel
A Medical First at Octoberfest
Cheap Thrills or Squeaky Wheel
Koroneburg's Villiage Idiot
Train ploy death
PB and BJ!
Mile-high club failure
Brains instead of Confetti
The fire, the oil, the shotgun
Losing Face Literally
gasoline in the Maytag
After You, Comrade...
Mooner hit by car
Homeland Security - A Legend?
My right arm for Pizza!
Driving and Dancing don't mix!
Homemade Throttle Cable
Hey ya'll, watch this
Self-vasectomy attempt injures
Train-escape thief is killed
Youth dies after drinking boil
Moron Imitates Croc Hunter
Stick to the Heimlich
inmate escapes (life)
toy kills drinker
Russian Lion Tamer
Not the Incredible Hulk
stay on the line
gipsy gas
Cooking up a Blast!
Naked Climber Falls to Death
Camp Fuel Jet Engine
More (ons) with Fireworks
Repeat my behind
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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Koroneburg's Villiage Idiot

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I am what is popularly referred to as a "Rennie," or a Renaissance Fair participant. I patronize a smaller fair in between Norco, and Corona called "Koroneburg." Being a smaller fair, we are all a close knit bunch, and no-one's secrets are safe for long. However, it is no secret who the villiage idiot is. When God was passing out brains, Tim must have thought he said "trains," and requested HO scale. Really. Being a Renaissance fair, we sell what we refer to as "Sharp pointy things." Several booths are dedicated to knives and swords of all sorts. At Knightware, they even sell little throwing knives called spiders. The smaller a knife is, the better it is made generally, and the spiders are no exception. A customer was asking about blades and came across the spiders. When he asked if they were sharp (Larger blades are not sold with a live edge for safety reasons) Tim replied "No, look" and drove the one inch black blade straight into his chest with all the force he could muster. If it were a cheap knife, it would have come out easily, but the knife was well made and was stuck in Tim's sternum.Tim was driven to the hospital, where the knife was removed, and he was subsequently charged for the knife on the grounds that no-one else wanted to buy it. He was taken back to the hospital two weekends later for stitches in his thumb where, sharpening said knife, he cut it down to the bone. Tim is now banned from all weapons stalls, and doesn't understand why.

Submitted on 04/21/2003

Submitted by: Christina
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Gregory said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Anyone who tests an even marginally sharp object by stabbing himself in the chest is worthy of an HM


Bert said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Yes, we'll hear more of him I'd guess-


Bill said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Keep an eye on this fellow, please. He sounds like a real DA candidate.


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