Camp Fuel Jet Engine 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
What makes this story so funny is the main individual involved. By the way, I must mention that I am merely submitting to Honorbale Mentions or the Slush Pile, as no one was removed from evolution from this story.
Jason is your typical guys'guy. He grew up fishing, camping, etc. When he was growing up, Jason always claimed to be the 'best' at things. The best hunter, caught the most fish etc. At any gatherings Jason is always the first to boast about his ability as well as take the same opportunity to remind others of their not-so-special moments. At the end of the year Jason tallies up all the 'points' people have earned and informs whomever that they are the honourable receipient of Jason's darwin award. At these times, anyone who has ever been the brunt of Jason's boasting wishes they had a story that would affect his overgrown ego...Then I had the opportunity to go heli-camping with my good friend, Jason.
As an adult, Jason now works in the bush professionally. Jason and I along woth 18 others, were waiting at the helicopter pad and currently loading the helicopter with 2 kegs of beer and a few packs of bottles that were to return empty. It ws May long Weekend and we were going heli-camping in Squamish, BC (one of the most beautiful places in the world) and we we 'happy' to say the least. Jason starts telling me that he is 'concerned' about this weekend. I am shocked to hear these words, Jason is usually the last man standing at any such gatherings. I inquire as to why Jason is 'concerned'. Jason goes on to say that we are out in the mountains, there will be drinking and he hopes that for everyone's safety no one gets out of control. Still dumbfounded by him saying this, I agree and off we all go to our Alpine Cabin. Once up on the mountain...it becomes apparant that Jason's outdoor skills pay off. Jason quickly dons his socially acceptable clothes and wears this get-up all weekend of a one piece, red, long underwear set, wool shorts, wool sweater, and, I am sure of it, the same boots as Sir Edmund Hilary. Jason is the go-to guy. Finding safe trails, organizing everyone, informing us all of the terrain around us, and most importantly...lighting fires. Jason is the only one who can get a decent fire started. So Jason is nicknamed, "The Pioneer" and is loving every minute of it. We are to spend two nights at this cabin. First night...pretty tame. Second night, not so tame. During the second night Jason was trying to prove to everyone that be belonged on the tough side of the tough or dumb fence with scotch, beer, whatever. And, once again, one of the last ones standing. Jason, somehow, is usually one of the first ones up as well. I think on this particular morning has wasn't because he wanted to see the sunrise, but it was to nature calling in a different way. I can't sleep and decide to start making breakfast and I had heard Jason downstairs and thought I would check on him. I go downstairs and Jason is some shade of green I have yet to find. It has been raining all night and all of our wood is wet and it is getting cold in the cabin. Jason is grumbling how to find dry wood. So myself and one other help for a bit and find some salvagable pieces. I go back upstairs and can hear Jason working to get a fire in the stove inside the cabin lit. I am making my way back down the ladder, and it is as if I am moving in slow motion. I see Jason "The Pioneer" with a match in his hand bending into the door or the stove and behind him I see the can of 'camping feul' behind him. I don't have time to say anthing with there is this flame that stretches to all corners of our 'wood' cabin and makes a hug 'wump' sound. I see Jason dive backwards out of the way towrds one of the only windows in the cabin and a shelf that has a pair of scissors hanging on it. Jason flys into the cupboard, cutting his cheek (bruising his ego) and giving himself a worse headache than he already had. Jason jumps up and has this look on his face like a guilty kid..."wasn't me!" and since then, there have been no more phone calls about points and no more stories at gatherings.
Submitted on 04/15/2003
Submitted by:
Jaymi Chernoff
Reference:
ay 24, 2002
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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