Darwin Awards: 2003 January Slush Pile

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Darwin Awards
2003 Slush Pile

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Wierd Uncle Bill

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is by no means a Darwin Award contender, but you'll probably hear from me again!

I have an odd uncle (don't we all) who's name I will not use here. I'll call him Bill. When I was about eight years old, my dad took me over to help Bill build a new worktable for his basement. When we arrived, Bill's wife Beverly (real name) told us that he was in the hospital. When we inquired why, Bev started laughing so hard she couldn't speak. When we finally got her calmed down enough to talk, she related Bill's story to us. Aparrently, Bill couldn't wait for my dad's help and started to cut out the plywood top for his table with a circular saw. Halfway through the cut, Bill became aware that very little sawdust was being produced, and stuck his fingers under the plywood to see if the blade was coming through. Bill severed two fingers, and is still missing one today. The sad part of this is, only a week earlier Bill had a run in with a drill press which removed his pinky! That time, he decided to hold the 2x4 that he was cutting instead of using the clampboard on the drill!

He hasn't removed himself from the gene pool yet, but something tells me you'll be getting a message from me when he does!

Submitted on 01/07/2003

Submitted by: hop69sing@hotmail.com
Reference: Personal Story , 1/6/03

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

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Jorge said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence


Darwin said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account


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