Jumping the Shark 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Out here in Southwestern West Virginia, most folks don't really have much to do when they aren't at work,. Last summer, one of my closer pal's (who I'm going to call Ernest) was watching the old nostalgia sitcom 'Happy Days' when he struck upon an idea (of course, Ernest was aided heavily in the striking of this idea by several recently downed brewskis); Why not replicate Fonzy's most famous stunt, the one in which he attempted to jump a shark tank with his trusty motorcycle. Ernest figured he'd be able to get some of his buddies to place bets, sort of become the center of attention, maybe even spice things up around the unbearably dull town.
So he stumbled out the door in his inebriated state, all the way to 'Fred's Hardware Store' where his buddies were hanging out. Ernest told them of his plan, and they agreed to have him attempt the jumping the next afternoon.
Unfortunatly, my friend didn't own a motorcycle, he didn't own a shark tank, and he sure as heck didn't own any sharks. Fortunatly ofr the gene pool, the resourceful nimrod decided to substitute the his John Deere brand riding mower for the motorcycle, his old clawed bathtub for the tank, and his pet snake, which thrived in aquatic conditions, for the shark.
When the time came, all Ernests friends, all the major figures in the community, and just about every living soul in this particular part of Southwestern West Virginia (including me) showed up to take a gander at my fool-hardy pal's display of confused masculinity, because the news spread like wildfire throughout the county.
Suddenly, out of the blue, my friend rode out, fully sober, onto the stretch of grass where we were gathered. He halted. Looking nervous, my buddy licked his chaps, cracked his knuckles, flashed a half-smile his bettin' buddies way, and was off for the tub, 50 meters away.
Let me tell you, anybody in Southwestern West Virginia who didn't hear the shriek of that pal of mine when he landed his mower in the water was either deaf or deadSubmitted on 12/20/2002
Submitted by:
William Robert Shakleford
Reference:
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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