The heron, the ditch and me! 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I have always been fascinated with wildlife of any kind, in my youth often bring home snakes, birds, squirrels and any other type of wild animal I could get my hands on. I even managed to get my hands on a Copperhead snake one day walking home from the bus stop, Mom nearly had a heart attack over that one! I now have grown, but my desire to observe wildlife up close and personal has not diminished one bit.
I was driving my company truck to a customers house out in the country this summer. Up ahead of me I saw a Blue Heron on the side of the road, as I got closer to the bird, it began to cross the road. I figured it would fly off when I got too close, but instead to just moved faster. I drew abreast of the bird who had by now crossed the road and was staring at the wood on its side. The woods were behind a dense wall of weeds, briars and weeds. I left my van parked in the middle of my travel lane, got out and crossed the road to approach the bird. The heron finally jumped into the wall of brush to get away from me.
As I was pulling up in my van, I had failed to notice that the side of the road the bird had been on was flanked by a 10-15 foot drop with a pond at the bottom. I of course had been too busy paying attention to the bird. I also failed to notice the small stream flowing into the pond from under the road. I was now facing the brush on the other side of the road from the pond, trying to see into the tangle and figure out where the heron had gotten off to. Finally, deciding that I would not be able to see anything with out getting on the other side of the wall of brush, I jumped into the wall.
I am sure you all can see what is coming. The 10-15 foot drop off on the other side of the road was there because of the stream, which of course was running under the road. About a second after I jumped I realized something was not quite right. I don’t remember the fall or the landing, but I do remember waking up! I had been all cut up during my fall through the brush and landed in the stream bed in about 6 inches of water. The only thing that saved my head was my hard hat that I had forgotten to take off after my last job (I work for a phone company and hard hats are required for climbing poles). I finally climbed back up to the street, there was my van, parked in the middle of the travel lane, still running! I ended up with cuts all over my face, arms and torso. I also pulled a muscle or two in my neck and in my back, plus bruised my hip where it hit a rock in the stream when I landed! I was covered in mud and soaking wet.
I cleaned myself up and called my best friend at work and let him know about my brilliant stunt. I trusted him enough not to tell everyone about my wonderful try at flight, but just to be sure, I told him not to mutter a word to anyone!!! Of course, the next morning when I arrived at work, everyone let me know exactly how brilliant they really thought I was.
Yes I am obviously still here to tell my tale, but the potential for grievous bodily harm or even death was definitely there. I know that drop off was the furthest thing from my mind when I went chasing after the bird, to make matters worse, the heron was back up on the road when I climbed out of the hole. As I was going back to my van, the bird flew off.
I hope my kids have a little more common sense than I do, they have a good shot because my wife has common sense and some good genes. Don’t worry everyone, I am done contributing to the gene pool. I had that problem medically solved after the birth of my last child!
Submitted on 12/18/2002
Submitted by:
att King
Reference:
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
|
