Aquatic self stimulation, 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
An operator at 911 recived a phone call at 4:45 one morning from a desk clerk at a Florida motel. One of the guests was stuck in the swiming pool. When the 911 operator asked how, the clerk paused. it was kind of hard to explain. . .
The police zipped to the scene and were greeted by the sight of a swimming pool with toilet paper floating around-and a guest, 33 year old lets call him John Doe, half underwater. Upon closer examination, Officer Roberson noticed that Johns pants were down to his knees and his penis was stuck in a suction hole in the pool wall. "Under no curcumstances contact my wife!" Mr. Doe started screaming, at the same time tring to pull himself out.
But nothing budged. The cops shut off the pump, but John had gotten so swollen in his attemps to escape that he was completly stuck. finally they had to call the underwater paramedics. They poured lubricant around the suction fiting and after two hours of work (by this time it was 9:00 in the morning), were able to free the fun seeking John who still had a eighteen foot pipe on his wanker. when docters got that off,erection was so painful so as to prevent John from reproducing in this life time
The cops intended to procecute him, but as Officer Robertson put it: "There's no law covering unlawful sexual intercource with a rubber clorinator nozzel but i would still like to know what the toilet paper was about."
So apparently did the press. John was swamped by reporters when he left the hospital-but he was unrepentant.
"I can't see what all the fuss is about," he said. "It's the sort of accident that could happen to anyone." Submitted on 11/20/2002
Submitted by:
Bob
Reference:
Stupid Sex by Ross Petras
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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