Pheasants 1, Hunters 0 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Personally, I just love stories about hunters of dumb, defenceless and harmless animals getting their comeupance. We've all heard of hunters shooting each other, shooting themselves, and even dogs shooting their owners. So when a "hunter killed" story, comes along, I always read it, as there's frequently something dumb involved.
This is the story of two seriously dumb pheasant hunters who were born at the top of the Stupid Tree and hit quite a few of the branchs on the way down. It's got a new twist - one of them was killed not by a gun - but by a train.
A deaf Sioux Falls-area (South Dakota) man died Saturday from injuries suffered earlier in the day when a train struck him while he hunted along railroad tracks one-quarter mile east of Sherman.
That's right, folks. Deaf. Hunting. On the train tracks. Cue Wyle E. Coyote, Road Runner and Chuck Jones.
The Minnehaha County Sheriff's Department did not release the man's name. He was taken by air ambulance to Avera McKennan Hospital with head, face and leg injuries.
"He was unresponsive and pulseless," Bruce Wieskus, chief of the Garretson Fire Department, said at the scene. "He had a lot of injuries." (Big surprise. Senseless as well.)
Wieskus described the man and his companion, who jumped out of the way and was not hurt, as deaf and in their early 20s. They were walking southwest along the railroad ties, facing a blazing midafternoon sun, when the accident occurred, he said.
OK, notice a few other things here. Deaf, hunting pheasant, on the train tracks, looking into the sun (so effectively deaf and blind) - and the deaf "companion" (that's handy, no hearing-able support), who instead of pushing or pulling his friend to safety, jumps out of the way, leaving his deaf, sun-blinded pal behind on the tracks as the train thundered down on him. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I'm sure the dead deaf man's family will be comforted that his friend was uninjured!
"The people in the train were blowing their horn and hollering out the window," Wieskus said. "Apparently, these two guys just didn't hear it." Apparently, they didn't feel the vibrations of the train on the tracks, either.
Wieskus said the two hunters had parked their vehicle on 487th Avenue - or Minnehaha County Road 103 - at the east edge of Sherman and walked northeast along the tracks searching for pheasants.
They were on their way back to the car when the accident happened just after 2:30 p.m.
The 40-car Burlington Northern Santa Fe train came to a stop quickly. (Clearly not quickly enough, though.)
Being deaf, walking along a railroad track, and looking into the blinding sun is not an accident. It's a Darwin Award.
(No pheasants were harmed in the making of this Darwin Award.)
http://www.argusleader.com/news/Sundayarticle2.shtml Submitted on 11/17/2002
Submitted by:
Cupid Stunt
Reference:
S. Falls Argus Leader 17/11/02
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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