One Unlucky Guy 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
This story was related to me by my then boyfriend, who had recently been discharged from the Navy in California about this time. My boyfriend had served with another sailor that had gained the unfortunate nomer of "One Nut"
When my boyfriend asked the man where he got the name, he was regaled with a lifetime tale of woe.
Some of this account may not fit your criteria, but bares telling anyway.
One time the man went to a concert & got it into his head that he wanted to "stage dive". He climbed up onto the stage, then climbed up onto a "Marshall Stack" of amps. At the appropriate moment he leaped, (remembering the point of a stage dive is for the crowd to catch you) & the crowd parted like the Red Sea, leaving the poor man flat on his face in the dirt!
Another incident, was even more pathetic. He was driving a motorcycle about a block from his own house when he wiped out. Although seriously injured, he had the presence of mind to drag himself into his front yard where he passed out from the pain. Well, the poor fellow laid there all night & into the morning with no assistance.
His neighbors looked out the window, decided the man was drunk & he should just lay there! Luckily, one of the neighborhood kids figured out what happened & called for an ambulance.
After a few of these stories, my boyfriend stopped him. "So where does the name come from?"
Well, it turns out that before the man was in the Navy, he worked for a logging camp. He was told to cut up a rather large tree that was blocking the path with his chainsaw. To steady himself for the job, he stood straddled over the tree( not the smartest approach) & started cutting. The process went along well for a little while until the chainsaw hit a knot in the wood. The chainsaw snapped back & while he thankfully wasn't cut, it was forceful enough to slam him into the tree--CROTCH FIRST. He said everything went black at this point & he woke up the hospital missing a testicle.
I wish I had remembered his name so you could find out when he joins the Darwins officially! Submitted on 10/31/2002
Submitted by:
Shanan Blount
Reference:
Late 1980's-Early 1990's
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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