Self Lobotomy 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
y parents and I were going to a meal with a local farmer's group. When we arrived, they found that I would be sitting next to (can't remember his name - call him Fred). Before I sat down, someone took me aside to explain "You might notice that Fred is a bit odd. He doesn't say much." "What is wrong with him?" I ask.
"He had an accident with a chainsaw, and gave himself a lobotomy" Horrified, I looked towards Fred, and saw that he had a huge scar, like a 1.5" wide crease, running from above his hairline, to between his eyebrows.
"How did it happen?"
"He took the chain brake off his chainsaw, and went out woodcutting. When he didn't come back, they went looking for him, found him lying on his back, with the chainsaw stuck in his forehead."
"Why did he take the chain brake off?"
"He said it got in the way."
Duh!
For those who don't know, the chain brake is a spring-loaded bar, or plate in front of the top handle of the saw. If the saw 'kicks' back towards you (which happens a easily when cutting trees), the chain brake hits your left forearm, and stops the chain from rotating.
I never saw this story in the papers, but can assure that 'Fred' did indeed exist. He wasn't a very stimulating dinner companion. Submitted on 10/17/2002
Submitted by:
Alastair Dent
Reference:
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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