Darwin Awards: 2002 October Slush Pile

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2002 October Slush
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Don't try this at home....
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Hammering the bullet
Half a Beer One Truck
Child shoots mom
what does this string do?
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RAMBO IN THE MAKING!
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He really blew it!
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Game over
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A "Different" kind of date
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PARACHUTIST'S FATAL PLUNGE RUL
Hey, catch!
Cutting fuel pipeline with oxy
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One Unlucky Guy
Bad Bungee
Teen Daredevil Stunt
Ejection Accident
Don't touch that lever!
Skinheads attack
Boared To Death
Dont try this at home...(Cont)
Too Many TV Cop Chases
Bright spark
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How Fresh the Air!..
10-Second Mid-Life Crisis
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Easy burn
Quite a dinner
Mustard Gas
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golf ball on a string
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re: Dui legally blind
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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Drugs & Boiled Testicals

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

As told by . . . Jenn

====================== y uncle who we will call "bob" was hiding in the woods of British Columbia, Canada out of fear of being found by the cocaine dealers he narced on. While in his self-imposed exile, he frequently roamed around naked drunk and hyped up on crack cocain.

One afternoon after a heavy session of drugs, he got the urge for some Mac and cheese. Everything was going according to plan until the dosage of drugs he had taken caused him to momentarly pass out. On his way down, he knocked the pot of boiling water off the portable stove he had, and the water landed squarely on his genitals. As you can imagine, he woke up rather quickly.

It only took a matter of minutes for his testicals to swell to 4 or 5 times their original size. Still having a sliver of normal mentality, he realized he was in need of medical attention. He put on a shirt, but now because of the engorged size of his two best friends, pants were not an option.

He had to hike 2 miles out of the woods to a major highway. There he tried to hitch a ride to the nearest town another 10 miles away. Of course, what sane person would pick up a half naked man on the road with giant gonads.

"Bob" was forced to walk the entire 10 miles into town. Once admitted to the hospital, it was decided by the doctors the only means to save "Bobs" twig and berries was to perform a skin graft. Unfortunaly, because of the drugs still in his system, "Bob" thought they said they were going to "skin him". For the next few hours doctors and security officers had to persue him through the hospital before they were able to contain him.

By that time, the damage done to "bob"'s little friends were so severe they had to come off . . . completely.

So should Jenn's uncle "Bob" ever want or have a chance to reproduce again . . . it will have to be through adoption.

Submitted on 10/11/2002

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: personal storry

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Bert said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I think this is made up... There's no way such a chain of events wouldn't have made the news and be verifiable.


Charles said:
Neutral: Darwin Award
I don't know -- does drug addiction count as stupidity? Because the entire chain of events could be seen as effects of cocaine-induced paranoia...


Gregory said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
slush pile's a little thin. Thanks for sharing.


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