"Ever hear of a taxi?" 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Here is a certain winner! I first contacted the original Darwin Awards website with this story on August 12th, 1999, the day after the incident, and again in October of that same year, and was told the story would be included, but it has yet to be listed.
........
A Houston man, known petty criminal 31 year old Noel Gil, saw his opportunity yesterday (Aug 11th, 1999) when he spotted a truck left running by a woman, Claudia Aguilar, 21, as she filled some jugs of filtered water from a vending machine. Little did this idiot realize that the woman's 15-year-old sister, Roxana Lopez, and three young sons were still inside the truck waiting for their mother when Mr. Gil hopped inside. He told the children that he "just wanted to go home." The mother of the three boys heard her sister scream, turning around just in time to see her truck speeding away. She quickly ran into the store and called the police.
Soon, the police spotted the truck on the highway, sparking off a two hour freeway chase around the city of Houston.
The chase came to a dramatic conclusion as the truck reached the Port of Houston overpass on the 610 Loop. With police in hot pursuit at 75 mph, as he reached the overpass (some 150 feet above the water), the truck suddenly accelerated to well over 90mph and began to drift slowly toward the right-side rail. News footage, when slowed down, shows the driver, Mr. Gil, sticking his head out the passenger side window, after apparently speeding the truck up then shifting into neutral, allowing the truck to coast long enough for him to *attempt* to jump out the window, over the guard-rail and into the ocean below.
What this numb-nut didn't see was the chain link fence quickly approaching, intended to prevent that very occurrence. Just as the side
of the truck hit the guard-rail, the fence slammed into the side of Mr.Gil's skull, ripping "what was left of" him out the window, where it was crushed by a large tractor trailer that had been following close behind.
They had to scrape what was left of this moron off the freeway with a shovel. His family has refused comment.
Incidentally, EVEN IF he had survived the 90 mph encounter with the chain-link fence that used his head like a cheese grater, or 100' free fall from the bridge into the water below, had he of jumped at that particular spot, the water was less than a foot deep and would have killed him anyway.
(The local news seemed to enjoy showing the end of the chase over and over that day, but had to blur/pixelate the last scene because it is too gruesome for television.)
Tom D'Ambrosio
Houston, Texas.
Verification ref: http://www.hcdo.com/html/cheryl_skinner_august_99.html Submitted on 10/10/2002
Submitted by:
Tom D'Ambrosio
Reference:
Houston Chronicle, 8/99
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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