Gopher gone? 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Let me say up front that I consider this tale doubtful HOW EVER if you can find the original source....
I have herd this in varying forms over the years, but I have never seen it on the web, nor have I seen any proof. It seems to dumb to be true.
Ok that being said.
The story goes that a man either a welder, or someone who could get an Oxy Acetylene torch (versions vary) had a large gently down sloping back yard, this was in a semi rural area. Other neighbors are said to have horses and other live stock.
Said man had gophers throughout his back yard, and quite passionately wanted them gone. He had tried traps and poisons, and "gopher bombs". With only modest results. He is said to have told a friend that was really needed was a way to really "Blast the bastards".
He learned that the mixture of gas from a welding torch was actually quite explosive (now there is an under statement) and further that it was Heavier than air.
Thus hatched his Brilliant (read as tragic) plan.
First he covered all of the visible gopher holes that he could find (some versions say starting at the house, others do not. Some say with bricks some say with small boards weighted by bricks, one version says Bags of shot. ), it is presumed to seal the tunnel system from ?extra? ventilation. He then located the lowest gopher hole in his back yard, (all versions agree that this was near the back fence) and placed a large flower pot over it on slivers of brick, under the pot he placed a votive candle (some accounts add a short glass cup the candle is placed in), thus wind proofed the candle would burn "safely". Next the torch, again versions vary some say he placed a tube in the highest hole (some say within 2? of his patio) others say the torch head it self, In any event he is said to have introduced a neutral mixture (purportedly it?s most explosive from) of gas from an unlit torch (some have him adjusting the torch lit then ?snuffing it?) into the gophers tunnel system. He then ran down the yard and lit and recovered the candle, returning then to the patio to watch. Versions diverge some what at this point.
ost versions agree that after waiting a good long while the gas went BOOM! Some versions have the hot blast of the yard blow the man through his closed kitchen door and out through the front window of the now Badly damaged house. Another has tunnels under the patio, which then throws him either on a similar path or over the house. The last version states that his septic tank access was apparently open to the tunnels and filled with gas, Tank under patio, man on patio, man like hamburger lands in front yard among the debris of ruined house. In Addition some versions go on to point out that gophers know nothing about property lines and list damage to surrounding properties. The last detail that some versions list, goes like this ? He landed in the front yard, where his prone body was then struck by a falling flower pot?
I have HERD many versions and seen none in print. I consider it urban legend. You may find other wise.
But it dose seem too dumb to be true.
Submitted on 09/18/2002
Submitted by:
Brant
Reference:
none that I know of
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
|
