Interstate Port-a-Potty 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Around 1980 or so i was an entertainer playing a 12 string guitar and singing in lounges around the Virginia / Carolinia region.
I had just completed a month long booking in Raliegh, NC and was on my way to open a concert for a well known country singer.
After the show that evening (about two in the morning), three friends of mine and I decided to head up the interstate in a late model pickup truck to a truck stop to get some breakfast. That's four guys in the front of a pickup, I'm riding shotgun.
Sometime during the trip, I decide that I have to go to the bathroom. Half a bottle of Wild Turkey told me that I could just climb into the bed of the truck from the cab and urinate off the back of the tailgate, and we wouldn't have to stop the truck.
After instructing the driver to "hold it steady" I opened the door, and the pressure of four large guys stuffed into the front seat shot me out like a jack-in-the-box, and if it hadn't been for the fact that I had my arm hanging out the window, I'd have been a gonner. I collected myself and managed to work my way into the bed of the truck. A bit unsteady at this point I started to walk back towards the tailgate only to realize that the truck is going north at 65 miles an hour and I'm going south at ? miles and hour, and will I be able to stop before I am catapulted over the tailgate? I slid to a stop on my knees and hugged the tailgate for dear life. Then bracing myself with my knees now against the top of the tailgate, I proceeded to urinate over the top of the tailgate.
In my stupor I completely forgot about the aireodynamics of a pickup truck. As yellow rain swirreled back up over the tailgate into the bed of the truck (and all over me), I managed to move around to the side of the truck bed to complete the operation. So occupied was I that I failed to recogonize a tractor trailer that had moved up behind us, windshield wipers going and horn blowing.
I finished my buisness and managed to climb back into the cab of the truck.
Later at the truck stop I realized that I had lost my wallet, and ended up singing for my meal.
I survived, moderately wiser. Submitted on 09/13/2002
Submitted by:
Dano McConnell
Reference:
Personal Story
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