Darwin Awards: 2002 August Slush Pile

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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Porsche Panic

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My ex told me many ‘Coyote & Roadrunner’ type experiences from his life, but I feel this one deserves a Darwin Honorable Mention at very least. He was driving across the Canadian Prairies in a 19?? Porsche. At one point he needed to get something out of the glove compartment, but it was locked. Since the road was straight and empty of traffic, he took the key out of the ignition and opened the glove box, while zooming along at 80 mph. Finding what he needed, he closed the glove box and put the key back in the ignition. A few seconds later there was a sign announcing a curve ahead. When he pulled into a gas station and started to get out of the car he grabbed the steering wheel. It locked. In his previous car, the locking mechanism had been broken, and it never occurred to him that this one would work, but he suddenly remembered the curve and how, if he had turned the wheel while the key was out, he would have shot out of the curve in the road like a skyrocket and landed in a field in little pieces. Fortunately, while he didn’t kill himself in that maneuver, thus qualifying for the Award, he did have a vasectomy some time later, which is another way to remove himself from the gene pool.

Submitted on 08/30/2002

Submitted by: ladyoflight@att.net
Reference: Personal Story

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Gregory said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
Anyone who would try such a stupid stunt deserves an HM in my book. I mean, you not only lock the steering wheel but also lose power steering and brakes.


John said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence


Charles said:
Maybe Toss: Other
As you said, he didn't *know* the steering wheel would lock when he pulled the key. Granted, he should have, but it's not stupid, just ignorant, as the guy said in Nurse Betty, and therefore not a Darwin.


Bert said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Yep, that was stupd. We'll likely hear more from this guy-


Pilchard said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
not sure if a vasectomy qualifies for a darwin award, although it's definitely self-selection...


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