Darwin Awards: 2002 August Slush Pile

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2002 August Slush
Fuzzy Fights Back
Man Hit by Train
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dumb bubba
Gun safety
Half of a missing penis
Catch as Catch Can
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Smoking does cause death
Train 1 Superman 0
Smashed Tiger!
Teens badly burned
Man drowns while fleeing cops
The Vic Morrow Syndrome
In the drink
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Mother's Little Helper
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angle grinder folly
Losing Count
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Man Buried Alive Dies
forbidden fruit
man runs over himself
This dive rates a zero
Gas Cylinder
Killer blowhole
Not on my backyard
shooting self
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Stunt costs boarder's life
Man races train and looses
Man gets trashed
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Wife a Speed Hump
Torch Blamed for Starting Fire
AIRBAGS ARE THERE FOR A REASON
meal to be kills chef
DA: Zot
Close escape on train tracks
Eye Sparkle
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Birthday surprise backfires
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Family learns teen in casket i
Man wins breathholding contest
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Dangerous pets
Even IT types can be contender
Ski Jumper Surgery
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Wouldbe stuntman
teachers and carelessness
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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Just what the doctor ordered

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I don't believe it's on your website yet - though perhaps it might qualify for an honorable mention. I remember reading about it in a Newsweek editorial last fall (or was it Time? I always forget; anyway it was all over the media and can still be easily found on ABC.com). Anyway, here it is: four young men broke into a veterinarian's office in Noblesville, Ind., searching for OxyContin, a painkiller which can be snorted to produce a heroin-like high. Although well versed in dangerous substance abuse, these ne'er-do-wells were obviously somewhat lacking in the spelling department, since what they took was oxytocin, a drug which induces childbirth, stimulates milk production in women and is thought to strengthen mothering instincts.

"They're not very smart," said Sgt. Eddie Moore of the Hamilton County Sheriff's Department.

The four men face multiple burglary, theft and drug charges - and one can't help but wonder how prisonfolk will take to four 19-year-olds with enlarged, tender nipples and a tendency to cuddle. :)

Submitted on 08/07/2002

Submitted by: Piotr Nowakowski
Reference:

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Mitch said:
Neutral: Other
I love this story. I remember it being on the news when it happened, too. I don't know that it qualifies, but it's a good one.

Charles said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Stupidity but not, alas, self-selection.

Gregory said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
OK, so it probably doesn't qualify, but it's well written and I got a laugh out of it.

Bert said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
I recall some kids making a similar mistake between Amphetamine and Atropine a while back... Much more serious results ensued.

Glen said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
sorry wheres the Threat to life or the stupid self selection --- oh whats that u say there isnt any well i am terribily sorry

The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

Autographed by Author!

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