Darwin Awards: 2002 August Slush Pile

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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Just what the doctor ordered

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I don't believe it's on your website yet - though perhaps it might qualify for an honorable mention. I remember reading about it in a Newsweek editorial last fall (or was it Time? I always forget; anyway it was all over the media and can still be easily found on ABC.com). Anyway, here it is: four young men broke into a veterinarian's office in Noblesville, Ind., searching for OxyContin, a painkiller which can be snorted to produce a heroin-like high. Although well versed in dangerous substance abuse, these ne'er-do-wells were obviously somewhat lacking in the spelling department, since what they took was oxytocin, a drug which induces childbirth, stimulates milk production in women and is thought to strengthen mothering instincts.

"They're not very smart," said Sgt. Eddie Moore of the Hamilton County Sheriff's Department.

The four men face multiple burglary, theft and drug charges - and one can't help but wonder how prisonfolk will take to four 19-year-olds with enlarged, tender nipples and a tendency to cuddle. :)

Submitted on 08/07/2002

Submitted by: Piotr Nowakowski
Reference:

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Mitch said:
Neutral: Other
I love this story. I remember it being on the news when it happened, too. I don't know that it qualifies, but it's a good one.


Charles said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Stupidity but not, alas, self-selection.


Gregory said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
OK, so it probably doesn't qualify, but it's well written and I got a laugh out of it.


Bert said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
I recall some kids making a similar mistake between Amphetamine and Atropine a while back... Much more serious results ensued.


Glen said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
sorry wheres the Threat to life or the stupid self selection --- oh whats that u say there isnt any well i am terribily sorry


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