Alcohol, Religion, and Guns 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/07/29/afterlife.argument.reut/index.html -Direct link to story, a susinct version is included here.
Now, at first this may seem like it doesn't fir the rules, but bear with me and read to the end.
In Godley, Texas, an argument between drinking buddies over who was going where in the here-after left little doubt as to one man's fate.
Johnny Joslin, Clayton Frank and two of their friends had spent the night bar hopping, and had returned to Frank's trailer park abode. Under suh classy conditions, they enaged in a heated argument about who was going to go to heaven or hell.
Clayton, a corrections officer, said that he would settle the arguement and entered his house, returning with a loaded shotgun.
He proceded to place to loaded weapon into his mouth and was going to pull the trigger when his friend Johnny took the weapon out of Clayton's mouth and said:
"If you have to shoot someone, shoot me." CLayton did. Johnny Joslin took the shotgun blast full in the chest at pointblank range. Clayton is being charged with first degree murder.
Now, I know that Clayton Frank cannot qualify as a Darwin nominee yet, mainly because he's still alive and able to reproduce (though not for long since Texas has the death penalty, and 1st degree murder ain't a light charge).
I argue, however, the Johnny Joslin is not an "innocent bystandard." When one has been arguing with a DRUNKEN MAN and that man produces a LOADED SHOTGUN and positions it to shoot himself, you do not offer to be shot in his stead.
Martyrdom doesn't prove arguments, only end them.
I therefore nominate Johnny Joslin for the posthumous (and dubious) honor of a Darwin Award for, quite litterally, asking for death. Submitted on 07/30/2002
Submitted by:
Rift
Reference:
CNN.com, July 29, 2002
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