killer biscuts 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several
people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with
her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and
walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she
looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that
she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in
for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded
from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad
of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She had
initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in
for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
And, yes, Linda is a blonde Submitted on 07/29/2002
Submitted by:
Anonymous
Reference:
AP
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
|
