Death by Dew (Almost) 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I am a messy person. This is what caused the situation to occur in the first place.
My favorite beverage of choice is Mountain Dew, and in my garage I have a special garbage bin just for soda cans. For recycling.
I am supposed to clean these cans before throwing them in the bin, but I don't always do that. So they're often covered with a sticky, sugary residue. Ants LOVE this.
So I've then got an absolutely infested recycling bin. And I hate ants.
So I figured the best way to get rid of them was to BURN them away! The bin wasn't flamable, I figured it'd cause a scorch mark at most.
I rummaged around my garage for something that would work. Ah ha! Engine accelerant! I sprayed a nice dose of that stuff on the top layer of cans, and then lit a match and tossed it in.
I'm not entirely sure what it was. Call it a sixth sense, or more likely, call it common sense, calling late. Whatever it was, a voice screamed in my mind "OH S@&*!" and I quickly flung my hands over my face and stepped back.
The resulting fireball blasted cans all over my garage, left a large scorch mark on the ceiling, and burned off all the hair on my hands, arms and face.
I realized later that the main ingredient of Mountain Dew is Orange Juice.
If you mix Orange Juice with Gasoline or Engine Accelerant, you get NAPALM.
I'm lucky to be alive, no thanks to myself. If anyone is curious, I have no intention of having children.
On the bright side, the ants were indeed gone.
Submitted on 07/17/2002
Submitted by:
Andy
Reference:
Personal Account
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