Fiery Christmas 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
(sorry for the approximative syntaxis, I don't write english very well: feel free to rearrange it)
Once in their lives (I hope), my parents decided to drop that ugly merchantilistic habit of using electric lights on the Christmas tree. Instead, they fashioned our then-beautiful plastic Christmas tree (we wouldn't cut down a tree on futile reasons) with real wax candles and what here in Italy is called "angel hair": long, thin stripes of silver-coloured plastic which add a special touch to the whole.
I did tell them that mixing plastic and fire wasn't a great idea. Then again, I was only 10 at the time. I also warned them that I noticed that the "angel hair" was being warped by the heat irradiating from the lit candles nearby. Then again, again, I was only 10 at the time and didn't have any school degree to match with their university diplomas. Not that it mattered anyway, as none of my parents graduated in Physics, Chemistry or Good Old-Fashioned Common Sense That Prevents You From Doing Stupid Things.
Well, you can guess what happened next. As my mother was reassuring me about the perfect safety of our Christmas tree, the whole thing bursted into flame. Not thoroughly persuaded of their impaired ability of discerning flammable and uninflammable goods, their tried to extinguish the fire by beating the Christmas-tree-flaming-kebab with my beloved, synthetic blanket. A good roar of rage and a quick explanation "de rerum natura", both coming from my side, prevented them to further their suicidal (and potentially homicidal against me) tendencies, and forced them into a more logical course of action, like using some water.
I understand that I should have let the Goddess of Evolution have her way. However, I was able to understand the problem and force my parents acting right, so I guess I am blessed by recessive genes and do not share fully their stupidity phenotypes. Rest reassured that I am their only child.
Submitted on 07/11/2002
Submitted by:
Anonymous
Reference:
christmas 1986
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