Darwin Awards: 2002 July Slush Pile

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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

When you've gotta go....

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This story has been told in many different ways in the south east of England where Third Rail Electrics are used to power trains. Many stations are simple one up one down stations with one of the live rails enevitably closer to one platform than the other. Many of the smaller stations also do not have public toilets, or if they do, are only open for limited periods during the day. This story takes place late at night, at a station where trains often have to be flagged down to stop as opposed to being a sheduled stop. Our friend, lets call him Frank, needs a piss, but knows the train will be there soon. Rather than hide in the bushes in the dark to relieve himself, he pisses over the platform edge. Now remember what I said about one of the live rails being closer to one platform than the other? Yes, you've guessed it, our Darwin Nominee pisses so much the stream of urine makes contact with the live rail. 415 volts at just the right ampage courses up his penis leaving our friend with a nanosecond to make his last thought "ouch." His smoking, piss stained, remains are discovered the next day by an early morning commuter who promptly showed great solidarity to his fallen comrade by having an involuntary sphinteral malfunction. No trains were delayed as a result of this idiot but the station was closed to the public for several hours.

Submitted on 07/05/2002

Submitted by: Noel Harris
Reference: Urban Legend-Unknown

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Larry said:
Neutral: Urban Legend
I heard this one growing up in New York


Charles said:
Maybe Toss: Too Common
Apparently an awful lot of people in NYC also die by urinating on the third rail. The Vancouver BC system was actually designed with a third and fourth rail specifically so that this would not be a problem -- instead of a single 600-volt rail, there are two 300-volt rails.


Gregory said:
Definitely Toss: Urban Legend
ay have happened once or twice, now in the status of urban legend, previously reported.


John said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
I wonder who leaked this story...?


Jorge said:
Neutral: Urban Legend


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