ilking an Elephant 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I submit this for honourable mention; thankfully the candidate lived to be interviewed. (This was so long ago, it might already have been through this site.)
A young man of 23 in Kenya named Patrick Baraza got the idea into his head to save some money on his morning tea cost by milking a she elephant. (There are no zoos and no tame elephants in Kenya.)
He picked up a little plastic container and approached a dozing she-jumbo who was nursing her young. He pushed the smaller elephant (who was bigger than him) aside and reached for the tits. Apparently awakened by the odd feel, she awoke, tossed him aside and stomped on him. It appeared that she wasn't too bothered by him because she left soon after. But Patrick was left in a coma with several broken ribs.
The story was carried in the two main English language dailies in Kenya. It turns out that elephant teats are on their chests, between their two front legs. Which led people to speculate that perhaps this was what really intrigued Patrick enough to compete for the Darwin Awards.
Submitted on 07/03/2002
Submitted by:
Joe Gichuki
Reference:
Daily Nation, Kenya, cir. 1995
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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