Against Animal Testing..?! 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
This particular scientist certainly was..!
Dr Jack Barnes of Cairns Australia failed to halt the further refinement of his mad-scientist gene - he survived - but that wasn't due to a lack of effort on his part!
In 1966 Barnes was hot on the heels of the source of a mystery illness called Irukandji Syndrome.
He suspected the source of the illness was a tiny marine creature and set about finding it by sitting on the seabed for several hours in a weighed-down diving suit.
Note the outstanding Darwin potential already being demonstrated...
However, the fickle finger of Fate decided not to beckon Dr Barnes that particular day, and instead rewarded him by revealing the potential source of the mystery illness - a minute jellyfish.
At this point the latent Darwin potential - already hinted-at in Dr Barnes - was unleashed to it's full and near fatal potential.
As a dedicated scientist, Barnes knew that he must test his hypothesis that this tiny, one-inch blob was toting very highly toxic venom.
How did he go about this..?
Yup, you guessed it - he stung himself!
Stupid yes, but not yet Darwin standard...
No, to reach such dizzying heights, you must ensure your deficient genes are entirely removed from the pool, and as Dr Barnes had already sired a son and heir, there was only one thing left to do...
He stung his 14 year old son as well..!
Truly an outstanding effort to place the continued existence of the Barnes lineage in as much mortal-peril as possible.
Alas it wasn't to be. Dr Barnes, his son - oh, and did I mention the nearby Lifeguard whom the good Doctor also introduced to the joys of Irukandji Syndrome? - were all rushed to the Intensive Care Unit of a nearby hospital.
Despite the very best efforts of Dr Barnes, they all survived to tell the tale!
As a final twist, not only will the deficient genes live on in perpetuity, but so too will the family name - the jellyfish was named in the Doctor's honour, "Carukia Barnesi"! Submitted on 06/27/2002
Submitted by:
Fred Walker
Reference:
(Canberra) Reuters 24/06/02
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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