Masturbation kills 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Back in the early 80s I worked in a medical school. One of my colleagues had trained as a medical photographer in a scottish hospital and he showed me some of his photographs from his previous employment.
A rather enterprising electrician for the hospital had drilled a hole in the ceiling of a woman's toilet. He arrayed himself over this hole, his nether regions draped pantsdown over an airconditioning duct. Assumedly in a paroxysm of delight he had grasped and pulled on a steel electrical conduit which then become live, allowing him to complete the circuit with his reproductive organs.
My colleague asserted that ten days had elapsed before he was discovered, during which time the staff were intrigued by the smell of roast meat which permeated the hospital, which smell was gradually supplanted by one of putrefaction.
The photographs revealed that the man's arm and groin were burnt leaving only the bones.
I have no idea whether this gentleman had managed to procreate before reaching this sticky end, but I am sure that he failed to afterwards. Submitted on 06/25/2002
Submitted by:
Anonymous
Reference:
unpublished
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