Doctor Heel Thyself. 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Y NOMINATION FOR THE DARWIN AWARD
June 21, 2002
Have you ever noticed that the higher a person’s IQ is, the lower the CSQ “Common Sense Quotient” is? This is certainly true of my brother-in-law.
And it’s been said of my brother-in-law “he hasn’t got the sense God gave a wooden goose!”
There’s a long history list of stuff in his background, but this one takes the cake—and could take his life.
A couple of weeks or so ago, while doing construction work, said brother-in-law had a close encounter with an old board and rusty nail. Rusty nail penetrated arm and major infection ensued. When brother-in-law FINALLY reported the incident, the arm was swollen to major proportions and very angry looking. He was transported to doctor who gave him an emergency supply of antibiotics and set up an appointment with a surgeon to lance arm. It was unnecessary to lance arm as the penicillin was taking effect and swelling going down. Surgeon gave prescription for additional penicillin. That was last week.
This week, Thursday to be exact, BIL reports that the mosquitoes have been tearing him up and he is itching from head to foot. Closer examination of extremities reveal saucer sized welts, face swollen twice its size and eyes almost swollen shut. No mosquito leaves welts like that. Another trip to the doctor yields “Massive Penicillin Allergy” and a prescription for many steroids to counteract.
THE TRUTH COMES OUT:
The truth came out this afternoon when my husband went to check on the patient. When my husband asked for a cold drink from his refrigerator, BIL asked him to also take away a certain bottle in the refrigerator “to use for your cats”. The bottle turned out to be a pint of ‘animal grade penicillin’ of which one fourth is missing.
Dialog follows:
“What the hell is this and why?”
“Oh I’ve been using that ever since I hurt myself.”
“You’ve been doing this before you went to the doctor the first time?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve been doubling up on the pills you got free with the ones from the prescription?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I want to get rid of the infection.”
“[Name] When and where have you gotten YOUR Doctorial degree? [He does not have one.] No wonder you have become allergic to penicillin. You have overdone it BIG TIME. You will never, EVER, be able to take penicillin in ANY form again. Ever. Not ever. Period.”
Y REASON FOR DARWIN AWARD NOMINATION:
As my husband left from the BIL, the BIL said “Hey, the doctor gave me all these pills to take to counteract the penicillin, but he didn’t tell me to stop taking the antibiotics; should I keep taking the antibiotics too?”
“Yeah, only if you want to consider dying. You can swell to the point inside and out that you can’t breathe!”
Like Duh?????? This guy claims to be an engineer and worked CAD programs? Would you like him designing YOUR house?
OUTCOME?
We don’t know yet. He is still in bed sick. From my experience with penicillin allergy, which was mild compared to his, he will be ‘out of it’ for at least a week—if he keeps clean and does not add to his list of criteria for Darwin Award Nominations.
Submitted on 06/21/2002
Submitted by:
ary E. Murphy
Reference:
Real Story today 6/21/02
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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