I know how to handle guns. 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I was the doc on duty in the ER at Mecosta County Hospital in Big Rapids Mi on the night before the opening day of deer season in 1992.Around 2am a car screams into the ambulance entrance, the driver gets out and screams "My friend's been shot!" The PAand I grab a gurney, throw the dude in the back seat on and run him to the trauma room. I'm checking out his head and chest, the PA is cheching out his abdomen, and we're coming up with nothing. The guy keeps grabbing at his crotch and finally I tell him, you're **** is fine. His comment,"No, it's not." He was right. A friend who came with him told me he had a .45 auto that he chambered a round and then shoved it into his pants. Of course large quantities of alcohol had been consumed prior to this incident, and when he forgot to take his finger off the cocked weapon when he put the gun in his pants, it went off, taking about 2/3 of "Mr. Happy" and his left testicle. The bullet then went through his upper leg hitting the femoral artery. Bubba didn"t die because we were able to air ambulance him down to Grand Rapids where the fixed his leg but were not able to reattach his pride and joy. When the flight physician and I who both love to hunt and target shoot were telling him the finer points of gun safety, he told us "I'm a gun smith, I know how to handle guns." I think this would qualify Bubba for a Darwin Award, while he didn't die, he will no longer be able to reproduce with his shortened and nerve damaged reproductive organ. Submitted on 06/18/2002
Submitted by:
Rob Brunk D.O. F.A.C.E.P.
Reference:
November 1992
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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