Darwin Awards: 2002 May Slush Pile

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The Winner - Stretch Armstrong
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the shortest way home ...
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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

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Frozen Bridge

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

When I was younger there was a time that me and my cousin went out hunting during an extremely cold winter day. We had been out for hours on end without finding a single sign of any game. It wasn't until later that I realized that only people go out and about in extreme cold weather like that day. But regardless we kept at it.

Our search for game brought us to a river that was frozen over. The thought that there might be game on the other side came to me and i tried to talk my cousin into it. As much as I tried he vehemently denied coming along with me. So I, being 'the brave one', went out onto the river's edge and proceeded to cross it in order to convince him that it was ok and solid enough to cross.

Now the river wasn't frozen neatly all the way across. It created a passage to the other side by the build up of large peices of ice which I had to jump around on find good foot holds. Every once in a while I would turn around and yell at him to come down there with me. He would only shake his head no and call me stupid amidst his laughs. This continued until I was 3/4 of the way across. I was hellbent on getting him to cross the river with me so I yelled again and this time I did something to prove to him that it was ok. I started jumping up and down on the ice. Not only was I jumping up and down but I was also stamping my feet down on the ice when I was coming down. Needless to say the ice broke through and I went straight down into the hole that I created. Luckily I INSTINCTIVELY shot my arms to the sides and caught myself on the edges of the ice which kept me from being swept under the ice and down the river to God knows where.

Now there I was, screaming at my cousin to come help me, and once again he denied coming down - even if it was to help me. He was twice my size so he was sure any false step he made he would be with me. Realizing he wasn't going to help me I pulled myself out, that is to say not without realizing the icy grip that death had on me, no pun included. I could barely feel the rivers bottom, could feel small pebbles hitting my boots, and could feel the rush of the water through my many layers of now drenched clothes.

By the time I got out and finished walking the 1 1/2 miles back to my house I was a walking ice cube. My dad didn't want to know and my cousin could only laugh as I spent the rest of the day trying to warm up.

Now I've had 3 to 4 close calls with drowning, I'm in the Navy, and tomorrow I learn to dive.

Submitted on 05/27/2002

Submitted by: Jared Brunk
Reference: zilch

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Mitch said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll bet the submitter won't do that again...


Kenneth said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Another story that I find dubious..Just call me a doubting thomas


Glen said:
Neutral: Personal Account
definatly drarwinian thanks for the story - also i notice you are still staying with water good Luck glen ;-)


Gregory said:
Maybe Toss: Other
lacks maturity.


Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Good luck with the dive course and KEEP TRYING!


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