Snakes Bite Drunks 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Reported in a Brisbane (Australia) newspaper (clipping did not include masthead or date)
Following is newspaper article verbatim
A Darwin man told yesterday how his left arm was amputated after being bitten nine times by a deadly snake.
Gordon Lyons said he almost died after his heart stopped three times on the operating table at Royal Darwin Hospital.
He spent seven weeks in a coma and was kept alive with a dyalysis machine and ventilator after a king brown snake bit his left arm two months ago.
r Lyons, who has still not regained movement in his legs said doctors revived him three times on the operating table.
He said "I'm lucky to be here right now, but I still cant beleive my arms been chopped off just for one snake. I still have my life and I guess that's the most important thing."
r Lyons said he was bitten by the snake, considered to be one of the most venomous, after he picked it up from the side of the road near Litchfield.
r Lyons, who admitted he was drunk at the time, said he and a mate had been driving from Mandorah to Darwin when they saw it.
He said. "I remembered the guys at the Mandorah Pub wanted something to put in their huge fish tank. But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand because I was holding a beer in my right one. I had its head in my hand but it got loose and grabbed the web of my left hand ... its fangs were that big it ripped my hand open. I tore it off me and put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the back of the car. For some stupid reason, i stuck my hand back in the bag, and it must have smelled blood, and it bit me another eight times."
r Lyons said he began vomiting and suffering diarrhoea "about three seconds later"
He said "my mate was trying to keep me awake by whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me."
r Lyons said his last memory was passing out, covered in blood, at the Noonamah Hotel moments before being taken to Royal Darwin Hospital.
RDH specialist physician Bart Currie said the venom had caused severe damage to Mr Lyons' muscles, which led to his left arm turning black and becoming "dead".
r Currie said "Of all the snake bites in Australia I'm aware of, this man is the sickest to have ever survived.
ore Humerous Wording
The medical profession interferred with nature's ways and managed to revive Mr Gordon Lyons of Darwin Australia three times on the operating table but he still deserves an honourable mention for his valiant attempt at Darwinian Fame.
The upside of their interference is that we are able to get the story direct from the subject and even include some direct quotes, giving us a valuable insight into the thought processes of an attempted Darwinian recipient
Gordon and an unnammed mate had been visiting the Mandorah Pub about 125km from Darwin in remote Northern Australia (Yes Darwin IS named after Charles Darwin). After imbibing for a few hours they grabbed some travellers (Australian slang for cans of beer to drink during the return journey) and headed back to Darwin. Along the way they noticed a King Brown Snake (http://www.pharmacology.unimelb.edu.au/pharmwww/avruweb/Blacks.htm#Mulga%20snake)on the roadside and recalled that the Pub had been looking for a new occupant for their now vacant large fish extremely cunning plan involved picking up the highly venomous snake with his left hand "because I was holding a beer in my right one".
He fumbled and the snake managed to latch onto him, whereupon Gordons reaction was to rip the snake off, causing the fangs to tear his skin and yield maximum entry of venom into his system. He did manage to capture the snake though, stuffing into a bag and throwing it into the back of the car. Not satisfied with being bitten once, Gordon then inexplicably, stuck his hand back into the bag and was consequently bitten a further eight times. Gordon attributes this to the snake "smelling blood" apparently discounting the fact that the snake was already considerably aroused by the previous incident.
Realising that he was in need of medical attention Gordon's mate proceeded to drive him to the nearest town to call for an ambulance. To keep Gordon from passing out he kept "whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me"
Gordon was in a coma for 7 weeks and has since had his left arm amputated. He is still confined to a wheel chair but he "still cant believe my arm's been chopped off just for one snake"
Well how many snakes would make it all worth while then? Submitted on 04/17/2002
Submitted by:
Anonymous
Reference:
Unknown
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