Darwin Awards: 2002 March Slush Pile

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2002 March Slush
Faulty Firearm Fleeing
Fatal snack
Ha, ha, ya missed me!
Don't call his mom!
Plutonium smuggler died
stoopid
Don't Shoot and Run
Dazzled Divers
Fire Hands
Net Sex Not Good
Robbers R' GREEEEEAAAT!
Hair today - gone tomorrow
Hold up & Torn Apart
Speak up, I can't hear you....
That's Good Training!
Man killed by roll up door dur
Woman blows off own hand
Thawing Gas Tank With Liter
Man engulfed by paint-thinner
Vomit-drinking
Boater hits head on bridge
Maui Wowie
snob got his come uppance
A valiant Effort
Italy insurance scam's chainsa
Don't Photo the Hippo's
Buffalo wins stare down
Pass! Pass!
Pop Star Plays in Traffic
Napping farmer
Black hole
Driving a Dodge Viper?
Man shoots off own toe
Look before you leap
Last Ditch
2 Rednecks doing 360's
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The firecracker chainsaw massa
No Your Other Right
Leaving a Cold Trail
GAS LEAK DETECTION
Canabis made driver sleep
Mr. Burns
Wrong person to mug
Don't Drink The Water!
Shot wing off own plane
Train accident
Death Speaks in Funny Voices
Snowmobile rider versus train
magazine blowout
..believe me dear!
Look Both Ways Before Crossing
Antifreeze Cocktail...
Home Science Experiment
ATV Accidnet
I Shot The Sheriff
Scorpion fan learns love hurts
X-ray me!
Water and Sand
Racer's Death Brings Warning
Hungerford Handstand
Into the garbage shoot, Flyboy
RUNNER-UP POTENTIAL???
Bike Riders Armless End
Missile Souvenier
we prefer our beds, thank you.
Man Sets Fire To GF's Car
Pocket M-80
Fleeing man dies of exposure
Manhunt Ends With Victim
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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Net Sex Not Good

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

After her long term relationship had ended, Uni student Jen was very unhappy. She had been seeing her boyfriend for years, he was her first - for everything! He was her first kiss, she gave him her virginity, He was Her first love.

So distrought that she would never find true love again she quickly decided to join an internet dating service, more out of curiosity than anything else. After hours of reading the entries of other members she came across one account that instantly grabbed her attention. 'Diviorced male seeks loving partner.' His story was so sad, like hers, that she immeadiately felt a connection, swollowing her fears she sent him an email. Before long they had exchanged every detail of their lives to each other, not wanting to use her real name Jen choose to call herself Lucy. The pair had so much in common they couldn't believe it and when James, her new internet partner, suggested cyber sex Jen decided to hold nothing back. She was surprised at how incredibly sensitive he was and even more surprised by how much he had turned her on just through words.

They carried on the same routine for about a year, fed-up of the same scenario Jen suggested that they should meet at a hotel. Jen had decided that she loved the man on the other side of the computer, looks no longer bothered her, his age was irrelivant. She was in love. Rather than risk mistaking each other in a crowded lobby Jen suggested that they use the alias Mr & Mrs Johnson and head straight up to the room and meet each other there.

When Jen had signed in at the desk she asked if Mr Johnson had arrived yet, relieved to hear he hadn't she quickly slipped upstairs and prepeared for their meeting. After about quater of an hour Jen made the decision to give James the thrill of his life by lying naked under the sheets with the lights turned off. Before she knew it James had arrived, fumbling through the dark James shouted 'Lucy?' 'Over here...' she replyed gently teasing him. He collapsed on top of her, both giggling wildly, Jen reached over and turned on the light and then as soon as the light filled the room Jen realised that the man she was with was her father!

Jens father was so shocked he had a heart attack and flat-lined three times in hospital before eventually passing away hours after their encounter.

Submitted on 03/11/02

Submitted by: Jonny Newcombe
Reference: email - 04/03/02

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Charles said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. Not a Darwin; wilful misleading on both parties' parts, rather than stupidity.


Pilchard said:
Maybe Toss: Other
it's a nice story, but... i don't believe it, frankly.


Gregory said:
Definitely Keep: Urban Legend
Sure sounds like a UL, but not one I've heard before. Don't see a Darwinian level of stupidity here, but still a good story


Teela said:
Definitely Toss: Other


Tracy said:
Neutral: Urban Legend
This sounds like an urban myth


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