Faulty Firearm Fleeing 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
After being pulled over by police for driving a "suspicious vehicle", Gerald Nolan decided it was better to try fleeing on foot than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This is the first indication of Gerald's failings - "The officers are only suspicious and alert now. Lets make them hot, sweaty, tired and pissed off as well, by leading them on a wild chase through the dark alleys and fields. After all, they're going to get the chance to choose how much physical force to use during restraint and apprehension later. Better make sure they're in the right mood for it."
During the chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade offices from their pursuit by firing his 9mm handgun back over his shoulder. Second illustration of potential genetic deficiencies - "Officers running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun. But they have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I can not tell what I'm aiming at. Let's fire wildly behind me anyway, and see how good the officers' marksmanship really is!"
Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who "can't chew gum and walk" at the same time. Or at least, he was one who "can't flee and fire".
While trying to point the weapon back over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the face with his own gun. This definitely made the chase a lot shorter and easier for the officers.
Police reported four shots were fired, none of them by the officers. They found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen form. Gerald was transported to a local hospital, and he expired the following day - thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.
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March 8, 2002
Local briefings
Man accidentally shoots self while fleeing police
A 38-year-old man who fired shots at a Colorado Springs police officer as he was being chased on foot apparently shot himself accidentally Thursday and later died, police said.
Gerald Nollen of Colorado Springs died at Memorial Hospital, police said.
The officer began following a "suspicious vehicle" about 2 a.m. Thursday. The driver, police said, drove erratically with the officer following, then abandoned the car in the 1000 block of South Weber Street. The officer chased him on foot, and the man began shooting at him with a 9 mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun, police said.
Near the 200 block of East Mill Street, it appeared Nollen went to fire another shot at the officer, police said.
"Instead, it appears that the man accidentally shot himself in the face while he was running," police spokesman Lt. Skip Arms said.
He said the officer did not fire his gun.
Police later learned there was an arrest warrant for Nollen on suspicion of violating parole, Arms said.
Submitted on 03/08/02
Submitted by:
Ernie Shumaker
Reference:
Gazette Telegraph 8 March 2002
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