Fun With Scissors 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
This is a story of what happened to a guy at my dad's work. This man has done plenty of stupid things in the past, but this is the first that could contend for a Darwin Award.
One day, the man found that he had a skin tag on his scrotum. How he did this I don't know, because he was too fat to be able to see his manhood. Also, he was incredibly cheap. He decided not to go to the doctor to have it removed. Instead, he found a mirror. He positioned it so he could see his balls. Then, he took out a scissors. He proceeded to cut the skin tag off himself. He bled some but he knew that he would be fine, so he continued going about his daily life.
After a few days, he began to feel ill and he noticed that the pain in his crotch had not gone away, and that there was a fairly large amount of swelling. He then decided that it might be a good idea to go to the doctor.
The doctor examined him and ran some tests, and eventually the doctor told him that he had gangrene. Gangrene in his penis and testicles, to be specific. He had to have surgery immediately to prevent it from spreading. His surgery consisted of having his testicles and penis amputated. So, he successfully removed himself from the gene pool.
Now, this is not the end of the story. He went back to work for a few months, and everything was fine (except for his missing manhood). But, then things took a turn for the worse. He noticed that he was getting dark streaks in his legs, and that it hurt to walk. He went to the doctor again after a few days of hoping that the pain would go away. The doctor ran some tests and told him that he had blood poisoning caused by gangrene. So, now he has gangrene in his legs, and he may have to have them amputated also. He has since retired from his job and is spending his time at home, hopefully away from any sharp objects. Submitted on 02/28/02
Submitted by:
Jeremy
Reference:
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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