An Expensive Cup of Coffee 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Unfortunately I can't verify this story, but the source, my wife's cousin, who has never been known to exaggerate a tale, told me of it just recently. It can't win an award because it can't be verfied, and the victim lived, but it is a great tale to tell just in its total stupidity. Let's face it, most great tales of total idiocy don't cause death, but could have, maybe, for the greater good of mankind, should have caused it.
y wife's cousin was visiting his very sick uncle in the hospital. In the other bed in obvious pain was a man in head to toe dressings. His curiosity peeked, cousin Barry asked the man what had caused so much damage. The man, fearing he would be ridiculed, was reluctant to tell the story. After some prodding, this is the tale he told. On the previous morning, the man climbed his roof to perform repairs on his TV antenna, (you remember what those are. It was how you got TV reception prior to cable TV.) He was doing his work when his wife came out of the house and called up to him. She was going out, did he need anything. Yes, he would appreciate a coffee from the 7-11. (You kinda see what's goin' to happen, don't you). As she pulled out of the driveway and proceded down the street, she noticed that her not-so-better-half disappeared from the rearview mirror. Fearing some accident, she got out of the car to investigate his whereabouts. She found him on the ground, unconscious, beaten to a bloody pulp, with arms and legs going in directions nature did not intend. Mr. Einstein had tied himself with a rope, lassoed it several times around the chimney, and tied it off to the bumper of the car. When the wife backed out of the driveway, she jerked him around the chimney twice, across the rough asphalt shingle roof, off the roof, a 20 foot fall to the ground. He recovered with added wisdom in safety in high places. But the greater question that should fuel the inclusion of this moron on the roles of the Darwin Award web page is, should fate have allowed his life to go on. It almost makes you question of the validy of the Darwinism. Then again natural selection is largely by accident. Submitted on 02/21/02
Submitted by:
Bruce Comfort
Reference:
Unfortunely none, circa 1983
Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com
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