Darwin Awards: 2002 February Slush Pile

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2002 February Slush
Man's Return to Trees Fails
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sitting on a gun
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Darwin Awards
2002 Slush Pile

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Man's Return to Trees Fails

2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Millennia after an evolving human species came down from the trees, 30-year-old Joshua Olival of Honokaa, Hawaii reversed the process, removing himself from the gene pool while up a tree.

Olival's seemed like a pretty good idea: hike a couple miles onto someone else's ranch land, then climb up a Koa tree under cover of darkness, and cut off a branch of the rather pricey native hardwood.

To his credit, he was smarter than most cartoon characters, and did not cut the branch supporting him. However, he was not smart enough to avoid cutting a branch directly above his head.

The branch fell in obedience with gravity, striking and killing him. Authorities found him still up the tree, 20 feet off the ground.

Submitted on 02/20/02

Submitted by: Dan Birchall
Reference: Honolulu Star-Bulletin 2/19/02

Copyright © 2002 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Silverhill said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
A true idiot in this one!


R&B said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
IF true.


Gregory said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Well written, amusing style. always adds a bit extra when a thief stupidly does himself in.


Pilchard said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
look up! wha- crunch


Teela said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
i love it.


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