Tightrope Sailor 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I GOT THIS SECOND DEGREE BURN STUFF
DOWN PAT. ESPECIALLY AFTER I DUMPED BOILING WATER AND EQUALLY
BOILING COFFEE GROUNDS ON MY HAND ONE MORNING RECENTLY WHILE TRYING
TO BREW A CUP OF JAVA WHILE I WAS STILL ASLEEP.
BUT THAT WAS SMALL CHANGE COMPARED TO WHAT A DRUNKEN SEAMAN DID NOT LONG AGO. IT SEEMS THAT SIX BEERS AND A COUPLE SHOTS OF BOURBON CONVINCED THIS GUY HE WAS AN ACROBAT. AFTER DITCHING HIS BUDDIES AT THE BAR, OUR HERO MADE IT BACK TO THE PIER OK. BUT THERE, THE LURE OF FAME AND THE CHALLENGE OF THE HIGH WIRE WERE MORE THAN HE COULD
RESIST. SO, INSTEAD OF PLODDING DRUNKENLY ALONG ON SOMETHING STABLE AND FLAT LIKE THE CONCRETE ROADWAY, THIS WOULD-BE FLYING WALLENDA JUMPED UP ON THE CHT PIPING THAT RAN PARALLEL WITH THE PIER AND BEGAN TIPPY-TOEING ALONG IT'S LENGTH TOWARD HIS SHIP. AND HE WAS LOOKIN' GOOOOOOD, BELOVED. UNTIL, THAT IS, HE ENCOUNTERED A KNOT OF PUMPS AND VALVES THAT SQUIRTS A SOLUTION OF HIGHLY CAUSTIC HYPO-CHLORITE INTO THE RAW SEWAGE. THERE, HE STUMBLED AND FELL.
BUT, TRUE TO HIS CALLING, HE WASN'T GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT.
HE FRANTICALLY GRABBED FOR A HANDHOLD. ANYTHING TO BREAK HIS FALL, AND HE SNAGGED ONE! UNNNNNNNFORTUNATELY, WHAT HE SNAGGED WAS ONE OF
THOSE HIGH PRESSURE CHEMICAL LINES WHICH IMMEDIATELY POPPED OUT OF ITS FITTING AND SPRAYED OUR HAPLESS HERO FROM HEAD TO TOE WITH A
CAUSTIC BATH OF SEARING HYPO-CHLORIDE.
AT THE HOSPITAL THEY CATALOGUED HIS MISERY AS: SECOND DEGREE CHEMICAL BURNS OF THE GROIN, THE ABDOMEN, LEFT THIGH, RIGHT EAR, LEFT FACE AND LEFT ARM. AND, FOR GOOD MEASURE, A THIRD DEGREE BURN ON HIS INNER RIGHT THIGH THAT NEARLY FRIED HIS OYSTERS AND WILL REQUIRE SEVERAL SKIN GRAFTS.
BUT I DID GET A CHUCKLE OUT OF THE UNBRIDLED OPTIMISM OF THIS REPORT WHICH SAID, THAT AFTER FIVE DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL AND 35 DAYS OUT OF WORK, "NO PERMANENT DISABILITY IS ANTICIPATED." YEAH RIGHT.
I BURNED MY HAND TWO MONTHS AGO AND IT'S STILL AS PINK AS SUNRISE EXCEPT WHEN IT TURNS PURPLISH RED IN THE SHOWER AND THROBS LIKE MAD IF I GET IT IN WARM WATER. DON'T LET ANYBODY FOOL YOU; THIS GUY'S
GOING TO BE IN PAIN FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.
Submitted on 01/18/02
Submitted by:
Andrew
Reference:
ishap Report - ALSAFE 005/02
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