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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Breast is Best

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

You'll have to take my word for this one. I have almost suffocated at least 2 men in my life. Those who like slim women with big breasts read and are concerned, read on...

I had double DD breasts when I was younger (now EE and I am still slim, that's what age does for some of us, unfortunately.) However, I am particularly slim around the back so DD actually is a lot bigger than the average DD bra size. I never wanted this, by the way.

Now, having got the technicalities out of the way... some men have been so wrapped up in me (literally) that they fall asleep in my arms. If not for my eternal vigilance they would not awaken again, that I am sure of (especially after a few drinks or if they had a heart problem or sleep apnoea it would be very easy to suffocate them). Upon awakening, one at least has realised how close he came to death.

I would like to propose this as yet another method of accidentally or deliberately knocking someone off during intimacy. I'm not so sure it is a great way to win a Darwin award, but I am sure worldwide it has been done somewhere. I would like to propose this in honour of all the awardees out there and all the near misses, especially the ones that weren't put off!!!

Submitted on 10/04/2008

Submitted by: Jane
Reference: self experience - true story

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Thanks, Jane, but the rules state someone has to deliberately do something stupid, ignoring all notions of common sense. I don't think this qualifies, since being smothered by anatomy is not generally expected. Plus, it seems you are keeping an eye out for potential trouble, making you very intelligent and survival-oriented. Thanks anyway, and submit again!


Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks, Jane, but conditions like sleep apnea, heart problems, etc. are medical conditions and not appropriate for awards. Passing out drunk and ending up in a position where you can't breathe, no matter where the location, also doesn't reach the level of excellence for an award.


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