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2014 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Colostomy Catastrophe

2014 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

In 2012 there was a young prisoner who had a tragic injury resulting in the loss of most of his intestines. As a result he was forced to use a colostomy bag to perform his usual “functions”.

Now as you can imagine prison is a rough place for a dashing young man to live in. He was under a lot of stress from the constant pressures from gangs, violence, and criminal elements. This young man made a decision which he believed would allow him to survive in prison. He shall we say “dropped the soap”.

Now why he didn’t use the normal method of prison relations is uncertain. Perhaps he believed he could avoid the stigma of homosexuality by allowing his “special prison friend” to use his colostomy bag hole instead of the traditional methods of pleasuring himself.

Now as can be expected the poor young prisoner contracted an STD, specifically gonorrhea. Now what was unique was the type of gonorrhea he contracted. This young prisoner contracted the only known case of gonorrhea in the abdominal cavity.

He was treated for this condition but unfortunately it spread through his diaphragm and into his chest cavity. Eventually infecting his heart and lungs. Despite antibiotics and an aggressive treatment regimen the prisoner eventually died of respiratory and heart failure.

Submitted on 03/24/2014

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: 2012

Copyright © 2014 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks, but I find this story a little difficult to believe without some sort of verification (and I also don't find it terribly amusing). Gonorrhea, if left untreated (which could very well happen in prison) can spread to the blood, and if that happens then it can spread to the entire rest of the body. Because of that I just don't see this as Darwin-worthy. Thanks just the same.

James said:
Definitely Toss: Not Amusing
If his decision to "drop the soap" was made out of a "desire to survive", then survival instinct and not stupidity is behind his decision...thanks just the same!

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