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Darwin Awards
2013 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Meeting Miss Piggy

2013 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

José Rodrigues do Nascimento, from the town of Tapurá, state of Mato Grosso, Brazil, was found ded in a farmer's sty. Nascimento, apparently, worked for the owner of the pigs. Policemen believe he had some kind of "sudden death" while practicing zoophilia with a female pig, which was found tied in the scene. The pigs had eaten about 40% of his flesh.

The police has not yet ruled out completely the possibility of him being murdered somewhere else and later dropped in the sty as a cover-up, a practice which is poetically called "desova" (egg-laying) in Portuguese, but all evidence points to an accident during a zoophiliac orgy:

He was pantless, with his slip all the way down his left leg. The pigs had eaten his genitals, but no sign of damage was found on his pants or slip -- either his murderers were as meticulous as an Agatha Christie villain, or this was no murder.

Prior to his unflattering love encounter, Nascimento had been drinking quite a lot (several bottles of beer and spirits were found in his house and around the sty) but he tried to keep safe: a condom 3-pack was found open, with only two units remaining.

The most probable cause of his death, according to evidence collected locally, was an attack by the two pigs which shared the sty with the female, and were not tied. But, even excluding natural causes and murder, there are other Darwin-Award possibilities: considering the amount of alcohol he must have drunk, judged by how many bottles were found recently opened, he may have passed out during the did, or just slipped on the wet floor of the sty (it's a sty, after all) and lost consciousness. After forensics, it will be possible to know whether he took any "blue pills" to enhance his manliness, or should we say, his "pigliness"?

In spite of the serious accusation against her fellows, the she-pig declined to comment.

Sources:

a) Nortão Notícias: http://www.nortaonoticias.com.br/regional/97876/Homem+devorado+por+porcos+em+Mato+Grosso+vira+destaque+nacional

b) Expresso Mato Grosso: http://www.expressomt.com.br/matogrosso/suspeito-de-zoofilia-caseiro-encontrado-morto-em-fazenda-na-regiao-de-tapurah-90709.html

c) Terra.com.br http://noticias.terra.com.br/brasil/cidades/suspeito-de-zoofilia-homem-e-encontrado-morto-entre-porcos-no-mt,d24a055a985b3410VgnVCM5000009ccceb0aRCRD.html

d) Rondônia ao Vivo (WITH GRAPHIC PHOTOS) http://www.rondoniaovivo.com.br/noticias/caseiro-e-encontrado-morto-em-chiqueiro-suspeito-de-zoofilia/110250#.Ut8aTj1pTak

Submitted on 01/21/2014

Submitted by: José Geraldo Gouvêa
Reference: Rondonia ao Vivo - 20 Jan 2014

Copyright © 2013 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
Sorry, but this doesn't say Darwin to me. The other moderators may differ. Thanks anyway, and submit again.


James said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
Thanks, jose! I really like this story, but as of now there is simply too much speculation involved. If any further news surfaces once the police have determined exactly what happened, let us know!


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