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2013 Slush Pile

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Deadly sex with hornet nest

2013 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Sweden is usually known for it's "built yourself" home furnitures and Volvo cars, but not for sexually hazardous practices. Until now.

Our nominee is a 35-years-old man named Hasse from Ystad, Sweden. Hasse can roughly be translated in English as "hate", a name quite sound for someone that was about to treat his genitals like he did.

Hasse could have had many reasons to do what he did. Not being able to find a girlfriend, for instance. Or maybe he felt that a blowjob from a nearby hooker was too expensive. Some even speculated that he was in need of a "natural" Viagra. Whatever the reason, he though that it was quite reasonable to have sex with a hornet. In fact, why have sex with a wasp when you can have group sex with many? Even better, why the group sex when you can have a gang bang with the whole nest? Sky is the limit as they say.

The problem is that hornet stings are more painful than typical wasp stings because of their venom. They can also sting multiple times. Probably alerted by the sound, Hasse's neighbour found him lying on the ground. His body was so swollen that he mistook him for a whale carcass. Fortunately, he recognised Hasse by sighting his tattoo representing a little angel who is rockin (!). Our famous hornet's lover had 146 sting marks on his body, including 54 to his genitals. Hasse was unconscious when he was found but died an hour later from the injuries he sustained, thus entering the pantheon of the Darwin awards.

Ståhfrääs, the neighbour, said

"I have never in my life seen such a swollen pelvic bone. It hid the whole package [and] the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal. We did not talk very often, but he was still my neighbour."

An autopsy of Hasse's body showed semen on some of the dead wasps and a number of the victim's pubic hair was found at the entrance of the nest. His fingerprints were also found on the nest, definitely proving he had a "fucking hell of a time" and had at least one orgasm, so he didn't die unhappy.

"I don't even think about the pain he must have suffered both within himself [from his fetish] and incurred by the wasp attack. To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea," Siv During Livh, a psychologist and expert on sex fantasies told the media.

We needed such an advice, didn't we?

Submitted on 05/15/2013

Submitted by: Philippe Brisson
Reference: May 15 2013, http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/467900/20130515/man-sweden-dies-sex-hornet-s-nest.htm

Copyright © 2013 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Shadow said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
repeat and hoax


Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
As Shadow said. We've already received this story a number of times and have confirmed that it's also a hoax. Please be sure to do as the submissions page requests and check BOTH the slush and reject piles for duplicates before submitting a story.


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