Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2013 February Rejects
Canola Oil is bad for your health
Man shot by dog with unloaded .38
Hail Swimmer
Sweet Relief
Party bus death of Daniel Fernandez
In love with CO
Use a loaded shotgun as a club
oil spray stupid
Bloody Burglar
With freinds like these
Daredevil Body Slams Cactus
Horse Entheusist
Flying Stupidity
Lottery Winners Blow Up Own House
Man killed, woman hospitalized in b
Don't throw gas on bonfire
KS Lottery Winners Blow Up House
Brothers celebrate lottery win by b
Winner, Winner!
Getaway gone awry
coca cola junkie
Heart Attack Grill’s First Fatality
Teenager who let friends 'car surf'
Heart Attack Grill
Dumb crooks, dumb death
Micro(brain)wave
Two Dead in Horror Night on WA Road
Heart Attack Grill daily patron
Coke Addiction
Robbery gone wrong
Heart attack grill
Choose your getaway vehicle wisely
Homemade Bomb Goes Off
3 am Family Winter Pond Swimming
Numbskull Skiers Lose Their Grip
Can't s;read his Jeans anymore
Chris Kyle
Man Shoots Self in Groin with Flare
Fishing Accident
Lunch over life
Chris Kyle
Man Killed by Semi Truck
Somerville man burned in fire possi
"Military (Un)Intelligence"
Justice is Swift
Burning Jealousy
African Villiage: Tanzania
A little late but:...
Older Rejects 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules – Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2012 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Micro(brain)wave

2012 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Not even 5 weeks into the Spring semester at the local community college, a co-worker and I had been assigned the privilege of replacing a microwave near the cafeteria vending machines because a soon-to-be alumni of the public school system and torn the door off of the microwave.

As said co-worker and I emerge from the staff lounge (we were replacing the student's microwave with the staff's), I see a student standing in front of the doorless microwave with his food in the carriage and pressing the buttons. Said student, who presumably was not an engineering or physics major was at least 6' tall placing his family jewels on a collision course with the microwave radiation about to erupt from the doorless microwave.

I screamed at him "What are you doing?!?!?!" and promptly informed him he was about to irradiate generation neXt.

I know, not quite a D.A. but it should have been, and would have been. Just had to share.

Go Community College!

Submitted on 02/13/2013

Submitted by: J. R. Hight
Reference: J. R. Hight first-hand account: 2/7/2013

Copyright © 2012 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Maybe Toss: No Self-Selection
I'm a little torn on this story, in part because I feel that the school staff is partly to blame for this even happening. I don't know about you, but if I was tasked with replacing a microwave oven whose door had been torn off (or just happened to be the one that discovered it) then the very first thing I would do is unplug the darned thing to make sure nobody tries using it. I consider not rendering it safe to be just as foolish as somebody trying to use it. Besides, virtually every microwave ever built has a door interlock, which prevents the oven from turning on if the door is open (or missing) so I really don't think this guy was actually in any danger unless the microwave had been so thoroughly damaged that the interlock was malfunctioning. Lets see what the other moderators have to say. Thanks, J. R.

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
It's friggin' hilarious, but with the safety lock working, it doesn't really qualify. And if it *wasn't* working, then it's the guy who ripped the door off who's ultimately responsible. Thanks, JR, and submit again please!

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend