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Darwin Awards
2011 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Santa Roast

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

They say no good deed goes unpunished. In the case of my great-grandfather's 25-year-old cousin, George Linn, playing Santa Claus at an 1879 Christmas celebration was his undoing!

Here's the newspaper article as originally published in the Jeffersonian newspaper on 1/1/1880. The paper can be seen by subscription at www.newspaperarchive.com.

A HOLIDAY HOLOCAUST!

FROM A CHRISTMAS TREE TO A COFFIN.

Christmas night, at Pataskala, Licking county, there was a Holiday Festival and Christmas Tree in the M. E. Church, and George Linn, a son of Adam Linn, a former well-known business man of Winchester, personated Santa Claus, At about the hour of ten o'clock, and when the festivities were at their highest, Mr. Linn and an assistant began taking the presents from the tree and distributing them. Mr. Linn's costume was largely composed of cotton batting, and the eyebrows and nose of his false face and the tall hat that surmounted his head were all of the same inflammable material. Reaching for a present his hat came in contact with a wax candle and in an instant his whole body was enveloped in flames. As, frantic with fright and pain, he dashed into the tree, scattering the presents in all directions, the entire audience became panic stricken and the horror of the scene that ensued baffles description. Several persons threw themselves through the windows and a lady and her child were seriously injured and several others more or less hurt. It was several minutes before the flames which enveloped Mr. Linn could be extinguished, and when it was done he was so horribly burned that his bowels almost protruded, and from head to foot he was one mass of charred flesh. Of course his death was only a question of a few hours time and, as anticipated, it occurred at an early hour Friday morning. A blanket had been provided for just such an emergency, by some thoughtful person, but in the panic it could not be found. Mr. Linn was a most estimable young man and had been a member of the Methodist Episcopal Church of Pataskala for six months. Had he lived till Saturday he would have been twenty-six years of age. He was engaged in the manufacture of cigars. Mr. George W. Gray, now in the employ of J. T. Cain of this place, formerly worked for Mr. Linn and was with him at the time of the accident and at his death. He describes the scene as horrible beyond imagination. Mr. Linn's remains were deposited in the Presbyterian cemetery, Sabbath morning, in the presence of a large concourse of sorrow stricken friends.

Submitted on 10/22/2011

Submitted by: Richard Booth
Reference: Cambridge Jeffersonian newspaper, 1/1/1880

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
Thanks, Richard, but we can't accept this story for a number of reasons: innocent bystanders were hurt, children were hurt (our maturity cutoff is 16), this really sound more like an unfortunate accident than any blatant stupidity on your great grandfathers part, and I also personally didn't find anything amusing about this story. Burning to death in front of a room full of Christmas revelers doesn't sound funny at all. Thanks just the same.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
What Bruce said.


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