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Darwin Awards
2011 Slush Pile

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death by beans

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My friends are no different than most American parents: they have 2 children who want pets. Not caring particularly for cats or dogs, the parents agreed to guinea pigs--again, a common and practical concession these days. You don't have to walk guinea pigs, they don't eat much... and they are easily replaced when they die. Ahhh, but how this one died is classic Darwinian!

Saturday evening before the Easter holiday , mom and dad sneak around the house hiding jelly beans in every nook and cranny. The kids wake up Sunday morning, streak out of bed and hunt down the jelly beans. Fun, eh? Understandably, after staging the jelly bean hunt for several years, these parents had ceased to pay attention to the number of little sugary beans they scattered. This particular year, the kids were either weary of the hunt and quit gathering beans after a very short while or the folks had found completely obscure hiding places. Never mind.

Later that week, the daughter realized that her guinea pig had gotten out of his cage and she couldn't find him anywhere. Lo and behold, mom found him in the living room under the couch: quite dead, with overblown cheeks bulging with -- yep, you guessed it -- sticky masses of dozens of multicolored jelly beans which had totally cut off his breathing.

Not quite the Sugar Bliss the family's pet rodent had imagined he'd found.

Submitted on 09/22/2011

Submitted by: Barbara Trentacosta
Reference: personal experience

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Other
The Darwin Awards are only for humans over the age of 16. Please read the rules before submitting.


Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
As Candi said.


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