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Darwin Awards
2011 Slush Pile

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self selection- Burglar Can't Cut I

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Burglary becomes bloody, lethal affair for intruder A man broke out an apartment window near Ohio State, cut an artery and bled to death, police say

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By Mary Beth Lane

The Columbus Dispatch Tuesday September 6, 2011 7:38 AM Burglaries are common on Chittenden Avenue in the University District, but this one had a surprise ending.

A break-in at a student apartment ended badly for a burglar who cut himself while breaking out a window and bled to death.

The man was found dead yesterday on the living-room floor of an apartment that three Ohio State University seniors had moved into about a week ago. His blood was all over the apartment.

He apparently broke out a ground-floor window with his arm, then bled to death after he severed an artery, said Sgt. Steven Little of the Columbus police homicide squad.

“By all accounts, it looks like a burglary,” Little said.

The roommates were out of town over the Labor Day weekend. Two of them returned to their home in Apt. C at 119 Chittenden Ave. shortly before 2 p.m. yesterday and found the body.

“He just sat down on the floor and bled to death,” Little said. “The burglar had a bad weekend."

Things had been moved around in the apartment. But the intruder also took the time to attempt to doctor himself, as the bloodstained sink and paper towels showed, Little said.

It was to no avail.

The man likely died within the 24 hours before his body was discovered, Little said. The Franklin County coroner will confirm the cause and time of death.

The coroner’s marked vehicle was parked at the scene yesterday. The three-story apartment building was surrounded by crime-scene tape and swarmed by homicide detectives, other officers and a police dog.

It was unnerving to students and others who live nearby.

“It makes me really nervous,” said Melissa May, 21, an apartment-leasing agent who lives around the corner on Indianola Ave. “I’m just really thankful that I don’t have a ground-floor apartment."

Billy Merryman, a 22-year-old OSU senior from Shadyside in southeastern Ohio who lives just steps away in another apartment building, recalled the burglary that he and his roommates endured in the spring.

He was home in Shadyside at the time, and the other roommates also were away. In their absence, thousands of dollars’ worth of video games, computers and other electronics were taken. That was bad enough, Merryman said. He said he cannot imagine what it would be like to come home to the scene of a burglary and also find a body.

“I feel bad for those guys,” he said. “That would be something that would scar you, coming home and seeing a dead body in your living room.”

Police hadn’t identified the man yesterday.

They also didn’t give the names of the Ohio State students who live in the apartment. Fall quarter classes start Sept. 21.

mlane@dispatch.com

Submitted on 09/06/2011

Submitted by: pete myer
Reference: The Columbus Dispatch, 9-9-11

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
I'm sorry, pete, but we've already received this one. Please check the slush and reject piles before submitting. Thanks anyway, and submit again!


James said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
As Candi said!


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